Can You Ever Really Go Home Again?
by Briddy
Summary: Mac needs a place to crash when she starts working for Mars Investigations, and ends up at Dick's beach house. A bit of sexy-times and maybe love to follow? A MaDi story. M for language and possibly sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: This story takes place post –movie, sort of book compliant. This is my first time writing fan-fiction (or fiction for that matter) and I'm not 100% up on VM canon, so please be kind, but don't hesitate to correct any continuity problems you find. This is just a bit of smutty fluff – I've been thinking of writing a romance novel and have been inspired by the great characters RT created and what I feel like is the untold story of Mac and Dick.**

Mac grabbed the last box from her soon-to-be former apartment's kitchen counter, took one last look around her small, but sunny San Diego apartment , kicked the door closed behind her and headed for her car, loaded up with the last few boxes of her stuff that she had kept off the moving truck. What she hadn't given away or sold, was headed to her parents' garage. She had kept a few boxes of clothes to get her through her homelessness and apartment search, but the majority of her car was filled with her computers and the other hardware she needed for her job.

"My job", she almost laughed the words out loud, as she slid into her car, wondering again if she was crazy or suffering from some short term disease of the brain. She had given noticed at Kane Software two weeks ago, giving up her great salary, but hoping maybe to get a piece of her soul back in the process.

As she negotiated her way onto the highway, taking the familiar route back to Neptune, her mind started wandering back to the events of the last few months, starting with Logan's arrest, Veronica's return to Neptune, the reunion, and her decision to quit and work with V at Mars investigations. Was she doing the right thing? Or was this just the way she was avoiding real life, sinking back into old drama to avoid working on the lack of drama in her own life?

Working in tech was her passion, but the people she met in the field tended to be anti-social work-aholics. She had built a little bit of a life for herself, made a few new friends, had taken up running and yoga, but she couldn't help feeling like something was missing.

Of course, that something could have been a love-life. She wasn't exactly lonely, but beyond a few relationships that lasted a few months at most, she hadn't met anyone she was crazy about. Being a career-minded computer genius was, to say the least, sort of a major hurdle for a lot of men she met since college, and her crazy hours didn't exactly help. Her last boyfriend complained that she was married to her work, and when she looked at his pasty programmer's complexion (which she managed to avoid due to her running), thinning hair, and constant need for validation, she thought that married to her job was better than being married to this guy.

Maybe this job with V wasn't the answer to what she was looking for, but after helping Veronica with Logan's case, seeing her old friends at the reunion, seeing her parents… she couldn't get excited about returning to work at Kane, even with its fabulous salary. She might go bankrupt working with Veronica, but she knew she couldn't keep doing what she was doing. She'd end up that weird cat lady, or like Sandra Bullock in that movie where she wouldn't leave the house and ordered pizza online. Time to take a break, re-assess, and definitely avoid any pet shelters giving away kittens. She knew it was probably a temporary thing, a little ¼ life crisis spurred on by the reunion, but she just couldn't go back to the status quo.

Away from the traffic of the city now, she pressed her foot to the accelerator and flew home.


	2. Chapter 2

"No fucking way I am staying at Dick's house!" Mac screeched, eyes popping and head shaking, she plopped down on the thread-bare couch at Mars Investigation, while Veronica looked at her pleadingly.

"I know it's the last place you want to stay, but it would be a huge favor for me. I know I told you that you could crash with me and my dad until you found a place here, but my after my dad's accident and now Logan writing saying he's worried about Dick and needs someone to keep an eye on him, I'm in a bind." Veronica bit off the last with a sigh, and sat down on the couch next to Mac, giving her the old Veronica Mars puppy eyes. Mac just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"You are seriously asking me to babysit Dick, Dick Casablancas? Surfer-millionaire-playboy-screw-em-and-leave-em-functional-alcoholic-Dick?" Mac looked pointedly at Veronica with questioning eyes.

"Well, when you put it that way, he doesn't sound so bad." Veronica quipped nervously. "Look Q, he's not so bad," ignoring Mack's eye roll, she went on, "don't get me wrong, I'm not his number one fan, but the last few weeks, he's sort, of, I don't know grown, on me."

"Like mold?" Mac interjected.

"You know that after Logan was arrested, he was the only one that stood by him 100%. He's not a perfect person, but he's like family to Logan, and that means…uck," Veronica made a gagging sound, "He's my family too. And Logan doesn't like that he's alone now, especially after the stuff going down with Carrie and Bonnie and Gia. He's worried that Dick's going end up in the same spiral he was on freshman year at Hearst. Logan was hoping I'd be able to sort of keep an eye out for him, but now that my dad is out of the hospital and needs me at home for his recovery, I can't get over to the beach house as much as I'd like. It's only temporary, I swear." There was a lot more unspoken in Veronica's eyes, and Mac could sense she wanted to say more, but V was silent waiting to hear Mac's response.

"Does Dick know about this little plan for a new roommate?" As the words came out of Mac's mouth, Veronica's eyes lit up, and Mac sighed, knowing that she was probably going to regret this decision, but like with most of Veronica's requests for help, Mac knew she couldn't say no.

As Veronica launched into an explanation about how Logan had already asked Dick about letting Mac crash for a while using the excuse that Veronica could pay Mac's salary from Mars Investigations until they had a few cases logged, Mac's mind wandered to the last time she had really talked to Dick, that day at Hearst on the beach where he tried to kiss her. Mac shuddered in her mind, thinking back to that strange interaction, and remembering that brief twinge of, her mind shied away from the word, regret, longing…some past emotion that she felt that day, that was locked away in a part of her brain along with her memories of Cassidy.

After the apology and failed "kiss", she saw Dick a few times at Hearst, but they were in different classes, and she was heavy into writing code, barely surfacing from the computer lab to spend time with Wallace, Parker and Piz. They awkwardly acknowledged one another at the odd run-in, but Dick sort of faded away from her life in college after Veronica left. She knows he graduated, but other than the reunion, she hadn't seen him or heard about him.

She hadn't seen much of Logan either after Veronica left, and she always had some guilt about that too, especially after he spiraled and ended up in rehab their junior year. So maybe she owed him a bit too, and could repay him by making sure his best friend didn't OD from whatever the latest designer drug was popular with the 09'ers right now.

"Ok, OK, V. I'll…" she shuddered, "live with Dick until Logan gets back to town, but I swear to all that is holy, if that moron tries anything weird, I'm on the first train to couch city at your place."


	3. Chapter 3

It took Mac two tries to get up the stairs to Dick's house to ring the doorbell. The first time, she walked up the steps, and then promptly walked back to her car. "I must be insane," she muttered under her breath as she waited for a response from the occupant. Veronica had given Mac a key, but for her first trip, she didn't feel like she could just stroll in unannounced.

After a few minutes and another internal argument about just moving into her old room (so what if her mom had converted the space to her "crafting" room—that couldn't be any worse than listening to the sounds of Dick's adventures in romancing the latest crop of unsuspecting bimbos in town), Mac saw movement behind the glass-walled door, and waited as Dick's form came into view.

'Dammit' Mac thought to herself, 'why couldn't he have gained the freshman 15 and had a receding hairline?' The years since college had treated Dick well. He still had that surfer's body, with sun-bleached hair, that was shorter than it was in college, but still looked like he had just come from the ocean. He really should have looked more seedy and dissolute, but instead he looked the picture of California health.

Shifting the weight of her overnight bag on her shoulder, she watched Dick swing open the door with his customary smirk, "Hey Roomie, welcome to Casa de Dick." As he backed away from the door, Dick was staring appreciatively, his eyes lingering on first her legs and then her chest. She'd be a liar if she didn't admit that the warm stare was causing little butterflies in her stomach, which annoyed her suddenly. "I'm up here Dick," Mac practically barked at him. Dick seemed to snap out of his eye-fucking, and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Mackie—you been working out or something? Cuz you look crazy hot." Mac just glared at him, and interpreting her silence as her answer, he ushered her into the house.

With an inward sigh, Mac set her shoulders back and marched into the house, feeling like a prisoner going to her execution.

As Mac slowly walked in, following behind Dick's tanned and sun-kissed form, she had to stop for a minute and get a hold of herself as she took in her surroundings. She had to admit to herself that Dick's appearance and somewhat bone-tingling stare, was less of a shock than the interior of the house was.

While she wasn't exactly expecting Animal House, she also wasn't expecting this modest and dare she admit it, charming house, that was less of a bachelor's pad and more of what she would consider a home-no neon palm tree lights, or pin-up girl calendars in sight, no beer bottles or dirty dishes piled in the sink. It was a far departure from the grandiose Casablancas mansion she knew Dick and Cassidy had grown up in—but the house was tastefully furnished, with comfortable looking furniture, large windows overlooking the ocean, and a cozy and shockingly clean kitchen.

It struck her then that she was standing in her dream house, and it bothered her that this light-filled and cozy beach cottage belonged to the superficial and dopey Dick. She couldn't believe she was thinking it, but this house was making her re-adjust her opinion of Dick, and she didn't like that the opinion was a positive one.

Shaking off that new uncomfortable thought, she turned back to the tall surfer. Her silence and distraction must have given him the chance to continue his visual exploration of her running and yoga-toned body, because she could feel his warm eyes on her yet again, and since she didn't like the feelings those baby blues had given her before, she wanted to get this painful introduction over with as soon as possible. Catching his eyes with her own again, snapped him back to reality, and she broke the awkward silence with a lame, "So, um…"

Dick also seemed a bit confused, and good lord, was Mac detecting a blush? At this moment if a hole in the earth swallowed her up, she might feel less awkward.

"So Mackers, looks like we're going to be roomies. Can't say I'm thrilled that you will be crimping my style, but since Ronnie has been doing that for a while now…," Dick shrugged his shoulders and didn't complete the thought.

Mac just continued to stare at her surroundings avoiding the searching look Dick was giving her. Still trying to gain her composure over her shock at loving the house, getting butterflies from Dick's eyes, and catching Dick in a blush, she turned to Dick, saying without thinking first, "So where do you want me to sleep?" Mac closed her eyes knowing she had just set Dick up for a perfect double-entendre, and groaned inwardly waiting for his response.

Dick's eyes lit up, and grinned. "Well, Mack-ster, I know one place I'd love you to sleep, but considering Veronica will remove my testicles if that ever happened, I will show you to your bed, er, room, bedroom, upstairs, far from my bed…room. "

Mac just glared her response at him, and silently followed Dick on what he described as the "grand tour". Dick's room was on the ground floor, a large master bedroom with doors opening onto a large patio that was steps to the ocean, where Dick gleefully pointed out, "the magic happened." He also pointed out his office, "for my wheeling and dealing," before taking her up a flight of stairs to the second level.

The upstairs included two more airy bedrooms, one that Logan had obviously claimed and one that Dick waved her to, saying "crash away. And feel free to be a stranger," before he headed back downstairs, leaving her to take in her room with views of the pacific and a rather comfy looking bed, where a large and grumpy looking tabby cat was currently snoozing in a sunny spot. "Great," she muttered to herself, "I'm going to be the Cat Lady after all."


	4. Chapter 4

"So tell me about your first night with," gag, "Dick? Do I need to pay Mr. Casablancas a visit to remind him about Mr. Sparky?" Veronica poked her head out of her office which she had been occupying since distressingly early in the morning, hoping to catch Mac as she came in for the day.

Mac just gave Veronica a death glare before formulating her answer, wanting to draw out the suspense. Mac almost wished she could come up with something shocking or guilt-inducing, but her first night at the beach house, besides those first awkward moments, were weirdly uneventful. She had emptied out her car, lugging her stuff into the front door, yelled to Dick that she was going out for supplies, had ended up grabbing dinner with her slightly confused but delighted-to-have-their-daughter-back-in-town parents and returned after dark to find her stuff neatly stacked in her room.

With no sign of Dick or any house-elf that he had enlisted to haul her heavy stuff up the stairs, she had sunk into bed (the cat had disappeared thankfully), not realizing until she had hit the sheets just how exhausted she was by the move and her new living conditions.

Waking up to the sounds of the ocean and the smell of coffee, it actually took her a few seconds to figure out where she was. As a night owl techie, she usually stayed up late to finish work and wasn't exactly a morning person, so the smell of coffee was a like a siren call, and she stumbled down stairs to an empty house, with the brewing coffee calling to her caffeine-deprived body.

"Good morning, Roomie." Mac screamed and nearly jumped out of her skin as she spun around from her spot in front of the coffee machine to see Dick padding in from the patio door off the kitchen, wet suit hanging down his waist, droplets of water and sand sparkling on his hair and skin, as he beamed at her, clearly on his way in from surfing.

Mac's heart was beating fast and while she knew that was mostly from being startled, she had to admit to herself that a few extra beats could maybe, possibly, be attributed to seeing Dick in all his surfer-golden-haired-and-tanned-skin glory.

Yikes, she needed a new boyfriend, or maybe a therapeutic one-night-stand if she was starting to think that Dick's physical beauty was enough to overcome her revulsion for his dopey-slutty-entitled-drunken personality.

"Holy crap, Dick. Never sneak up on a person before they've had their coffee!" Mac grumbled at him, turning back to the pot, hand over her chest.

"Sorry Mackers. Not a morning person, I see, and you're welcome for that coffee. I'm gonna shower off, and I'm not even gonna ask you to join me as cute as you are in those PJs. One thing though, can you save me a cup before you head to the coal mines with V today? Thanks mamacita." He winked at her as he strolled past the kitchen, giving her a leer and waggling his brows as he walked by.

Mac had grabbed her cup, stumbled back up to her room, gotten ready for work and left the house without seeing Dick again, thankfully.

"Earth to Cindy, come in Cindy. Should I be worried?" Veronica intoned, snapping Mac out of her morning flashback.

"Uh, sorry V. It was surprisingly uneventful. Does Dick have a house boy? Cuz if he not, I think he actually carried my stuff up to my room when I was at dinner with my parents. Dick was disturbingly un-Dick like, which mean he probably will need to be committed soon."

"I told you he wasn't the worst person in the world." Veronica headed back into her office with one last long sympathetic look thrown Mac's way. "Oh, wait, I almost forgot, drinks tonight, right? Wallace wants to get together to celebrate your official retirement from the evil empire and victorious return to Neptune."

"Of course, I'm so in! I would never pass up a night out with my favorite peeps." Mac returned to working on setting up the Mars Investigation web site and secure servers. "Now let me get back to work. Your dad is clearly a better detective than IT guy."

"Macster, I mean this no way disrespectfully, but you gotta give me this one: damn girl, you look good! You know you don't have to go to all that trouble, I'm like, totally easy." Dick was standing at the island in the kitchen making dinner, giving him a full view of Mac as she came down the stairs, decked out in her favorite 'ladies-night-on-the-town-male-slaying' outfit.

At this point, Mac knows she should probably get used to these ogling stares and chalk them up as a nervous tic of Dick's, but she was yet again, oddly flattered, and could feel a slow blush creeping up her neck. 'I'm going to need to get my head examined,' she thought to herself, as she hopped and wiggled into her sluttiest pumps that she had waited to put on before heading out the door.

"Thanks Dick, that's actually kind of sweet, and thanks for moving my stuff upstairs and thanks for the coffee this morning. My rides is here. Don't wait up!" She waved goodbye at his stunned look and headed out the door for her Girls Night +1.

Mac giggled as she turned her key in the lock, well, tried to turn her key in the lock. The darn lock was moving and she wasn't sure that her key was going into the lock. She jiggled the handle and was surprised when the door opened. 'wow, I must have secret force powers,' she snorted as she went to push open the door, but stumbled as it swung open instead, unfortunately taking her momentum forward and stumbling into the dark space. Luckily she landed on something soft, but solid, which luckily wasn't the floor.

"No force powers, Mac just your formerly asleep roommate. You know, we have a security code, right, and if you don't key in the code before you unlock the door, the alarm goes off?" Dick stared grumpily down at her, holding her arms and her chest away from his own as he tried to put her back on her feet, which were sort of tangling in his own legs.

"Sorry Dick, I mean sorry Roomie." Mac giggled as she tried to right herself, but kept somehow finding it hard to get on her feet and had to grab onto Dick's lovely chest to get herself straightened out. 'When did she become a giggler?' Letting out another peal of laughter as she stumbled into Dick again as they both bent down to grab her little clutch, which she had dropped on her way in.

"Do you ever wear a shirt?" Mac giggled again as she stood up, her hand clutching and pawing at his waist, as she tottered on her heels.

"Mac are you drunk? If you are, then I might need to catch up so we both can enjoy this evening guilt-free." Dick said, this time holding her more tightly to steady her, but maybe to cop a feel too.

"Mmmm. You feel nice." Mac was leaning into his arms, pressing her hips into him as she wrapped her arms around his back, and leaned her cheek into his bare chest.

"Someone is a frisky drunk." Dick peeled her away from him, but held onto one arm as he bent down to remove the offending shoes. Making sure she was steady on her feet, he led her into the house, and gently pushed her onto the couch as he padded into the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

"Here you go Drunky, drink up." Dick returned to the couch and saw that Mac had already snuggled into the couch and passed out. His traitor cat had even snuggled up next to her. Sighing, he considered leaving her there to sleep it off, but thinking about the morning sun, and taking pity on her, he leaned down to scoop her up, tossing her un-chivalrously over his shoulder and carrying her up the stairs.

Climbing the stairs he thought how complicated his life had been getting lately. First Logan is arrested, annoying Ronnie moves in to keep an eye on him-thinking he's going to go all grief-stricken and depressed again after learning about his role in Carrie's death (doesn't she know that's what his special brownies are for ), and now he's got Mac here, his crazy brother's true-love, with her sexy little body and lustful stares. "A man can only take so much", he grumbles as he practically throws Mac down on her bed, her tight little skirt riding up her glorious legs.

As he pulls her over to get her under the covers, suddenly her arms are around his neck. "Hi," she whispers into his lips, and pulls him down, bringing her lips to his shocked mouth. Damn, but he is lost, leaning into her kiss, letting her take the lead as she gently explores his lips with light kisses. Sighing a little, Mac pulls him down, with one arm wound around his neck, and the other around his back, as she starts planting little kisses under his chin, down his neck, then back up to his ear, before returning to his mouth for one long, deep kiss, that no joke makes his toes curl, and Little Dick come to attention.

"Okay, Mac. That's enough for the night." Dick says as he pulls back, knowing she's not really there and will regret this in the morning. "You're such a tease, Casablancas". Mac mutters, but snuggles into her pillow as Dick pulls the covers up over her. He sighs and looks down at her, knowing his life just got even more complicated.


	5. Chapter 5

Mac groaned at the sunlight pouring into her room, her head was pounding and she didn't want to think about what was going on inside her mouth. "Shots. Why did I do shots?" she muttered as she kicked off the covers. Looking over on her nightstand she noticed a glass of water and a bottle of Advil. She groaned again as she realized who put them there. "Real nice, Mackenzie. You're supposed to be babysitting Dick, not be the baby." She knocked back the water and three pills, and flopped back onto her bed, almost crushing Dick's dumb cat that had decided to take up occupancy in Mac's room.

Just then her phone rang, picking it up, she saw that it was Veronica and took the call, "What up, Bond?" she said into the phone. "Hey Q, just making sure you made it home ok. I was a little worried you might have ended up in a ditch somewhere."

"Ugh, worse, I think I might have propositioned my roommate." Mac moaned into the phone.

"If that scum bag laid one hand on you, the police will have to identify his body from his dental records. I swear I'm going to kill…."

"Veronica, relax. Dick didn't do anything. He put me to bed. I'm the one that needs sexual harassment training. I'm so embarrassed." Mac closed her eyes, running her hands through her short hair, and grimacing in mortification. "I just know Dick is going to torture me about it once I see him again. Kill me now."

"Sorry Mackie. Do you want to hang out and do some girlie stuff? Have mimosa over a pedicure? There's nothing like hair of the dog."

"Sorry, V. I think I'll pass. I'm going to go for a run, maybe to some beach yoga. Try to clear my head before I deal with the upcoming humiliation." Hanging up the phone, Mac thought about climbing out the window to avoid Dick, or maybe she would just pretend she didn't remember slobbering all over Dick Casablancas…'yeah, that's the ticket, memory loss'. Who was she kidding?; Mac knew she was a terrible liar. Opting to pull the bandage off quickly, she changed into running gear and got ready to go for her run.

As Mac came down the stairs, she was assaulted by the sound of a juicer. "Ugh, my head." She groaned, looking up to see Dick, with his usual smile doing yet more domestic things in the kitchen, shirtless, of course.

"You're just in time for my famous smoothie, Mackster. Few ladies have gotten to experience my secret recipe. Usually the ones I hook up with creep out before I can make them." Dick just beamed at her, and she knew that the humiliation train was pulling into the station.

"Go ahead, Dick. Put me out of misery."

"Why Mackie, or should I say, sweetie-kins? Whatever, do you mean?" Mac just glared at him, but accepted the concoction he was holding out. At least she wouldn't have to endure the humiliation on an empty stomach.

"Are you perhaps referring to how you tried but failed to rock my world last night? You know, as Queen Bey says, 'you're going to have to put a ring on it, if you want to be with me'. You're little attempt at seducing the Dickster was ultimately a failure. You see, I totally lied, I am not that easy."

Mac just rolled her eyes, and drank Dick's nasty smoothie. It tasted like grass and dirt and was probably made out of some disgusting vegetable like kale. She waited silently as it was obvious he was just getting started.

"You know Mackie, if I had known that you had a thing for me, I might have had a chance to let you down easier. Now you've had a taste of the Dick, and it will be impossible to forget or improve on it. Now you're going to live life, knowing what you will never have."

"Oh, yeah, Dick. Tell me more about how I will live me life in misery now." She knew she was stepping into this one, but there was something about his cocky grin that was driving her crazy, and she couldn't let it go.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" He waited for beat, just staring into her big blue eyes, as she nodded at him to continue. "You and me, never going to happen when I'm sober. And I know you'd never take advantage of me when I'm under the influence. So maybe next time you feel like getting wasted and horny, you should get V to tuck you in. As cute as you were stumbling around here, trying to get a piece of the Dick is really kind of sad. I hate turning down a damsel in obvious distress, but I can't be pity-kissing all the ladies in town. I would never get any rest."

"Sad. You think I'm sad…you kissed me out of pity? That's it. You jackass." And with that Mac slammed down her glass, closed the few feet of distance between them, grabbed the back of Dick's head and pulled him down for a kiss. She poured all her anger at herself for being vulnerable with him last night into the kiss, plus the pent up lust, yes, lust she had been feeling the last day or two as she watched him swan around the house, with his tight abs and golden skin, messing with her equilibrium. It didn't take long before he was responding to her kiss, giving it back to her and slipping his tongue into her mouth, dragging his hands down her back to grab her to pull her closer and grind his body into hers. She pulled her mouth away from his, ran her hands through his silky (of course) hair, and started kissing down his neck, as he groaned in protest from the loss of her mouth.

After returning to his mouth for a few more lingering kisses, she let go of his head, pulled away from him, and walked away. "See ya, Dick. Thanks for the smoothie. What do you know? My hangover is gone." She threw the words over her shoulder, smiling at him as she headed out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

The kissing incident was never spoken of again, and while Dick may have given her a few hard looks when she returned from her run, he didn't say anything else. The next month actually settled into an easy routine between the two. Mac would get up while Dick was at the beach, drink his coffee, head out to work, come home for a run, then dinner. Dick would usually arrive home after she had finished up in the kitchen, and then she would head to her room to work on some free-lance work she had taken to earn a little extra money during these slow weeks at MI. Dick even took to wearing shirts around the house, which Mac admitted to herself, she was a little sad about, but decided it was probably better for her sex-deprived well-being.

Dick did stay out late a lot of nights, but he hadn't brought anyone home, at least if he had, no one had stayed around long for her to see the walk of shame in the morning. It was actually a little surprising to Mac—Dick didn't seem to drink very much either. She knew he went to a few parties, but he usually came home sober. He did have batches of those infamous brownies around the house, but it seemed like he would take several days to finish them. She wouldn't exactly describe him as a stoner. Several of her San Diego friends got stoned much more frequently than he ever seemed to be.

In general, Dick was sort of a puzzle to her. He seemed to like putting on this show that he was this moronic play boy, but his life seemed pretty tame to her. Dick was actually kind of a clean freak too. He had a housekeeper, but Mac was sure that Dick actually messed up the house a little before she arrived. If someone had told her now that Dick was a party-animal or had a drinking problem, she probably would have been shocked, and that's why she had come to a decision about her living arrangements, and knew she needed to talk to Veronica about it.

"Hey V, can we talk?" Mac poked her head into Veronica's office, looking down on her friend who was reading an old case file of her father's. "Of course, Mackie my true love. Take a seat. What's up? What's going on? What's on your mind?"

Mac smiled and settled into the chair in front of Veronica's desk, taking a deep breath, she mentally prepared herself for the coming argument. "V, I'm going to start look for my own place." Veronica frowned, but Mac kept going. "Look, I know you said you wanted me to keep an eye on Dick, but seriously, there is nothing wrong with that guy. He doesn't need a live-in nanny. Heck, I'm not sure Dick Casablancas wasn't replaced with a clone with a special chip for vacuuming and perfect hair. Besides, now that your father is out of the hospital, and getting around better, there's no reason, you couldn't pop in on him from time to time to keep tabs on Dick for Logan."

"Is there something that happened between the two of you that makes you want to move out? I mean, I thought you guys were getting along great, even after your little drunken smooching session. I know he's not the greatest conversationalist, but still…"

"No, nothing has changed, but I guess I'm a loner at heart and I feel like maybe I'm cramping his style. " Mac looked off into the space over Veronica's shoulder, a look of epiphany on her face. "You know, he never has company of the female persuasion over, and I don't want to be the reason, um, that he can't, ugh, you know, have some... I really don't think he needs me there."

Veronica leaned back in her chair and looked probingly at Mac for a moment, searching her face for some sign that Dick had messed with Mac's head, itching for an excuse to give Dick a taste of ol' Mr. Sparky, but Mac looked back at her with her best poker face. If Mac was keeping something about Dick from Veronica, she would find out eventually, so even though she had a nagging suspicion that something was right, she let it go, and moved on to other topics. She joked about being on an important stake-out for the day Mac would need help moving, and suggested Mac steal Dick's lonely cat, which elicited a scowl from Mac.

As Mac shut down her computer and grabbed her bag to go home for the day, she let her mind wander for a moment, and got this sinking feeling that maybe she was making a mistake. Why did she feel almost defeated after that conversation with Veronica. It was silly really. There wasn't any good reason to stay with Dick, and yet…she couldn't help feeling that maybe she'd miss the lunk. "Gah. What I'm I thinking! I do seriously need to get my head examined. And now I'm talking to myself…" Moving out was the right thing. She needed to get on with her own life, not settle into the weird rhythms of Dick's life.

The whole reason she moved was to start fresh with life, to have a life, and she here she was living like a monk with her clean as a whistle, reformed-party-boy roomate. It was definitely right for her to go, but why did it feel a little wrong too?


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note: This chapter finally gets a bit NC-17 rated! You've been warned!**

Back at home, instead of going for her usual run, Mac settled into the kitchen with a glass of wine, waiting for Dick's return. Barely finishing her liquid courage, she didn't have to wait long as Dick strolled in through the patio doors, dressed casually in a t-shirt and board shorts. He looked startled to see her – she was usually out running at this time, but he smiled anyway. "Celebrating something, Macster?"

"No, but you will be soon enough."

"You and Veronica will finally fulfill my fantasies and film that lesbian sex tape all of Neptune has been waiting for?"

"No, you perv." She hesitated for a second, wondering why she felt like this conversion needed to be hard, "Actually I'm moving out. Casa de Dick can return to its usual state of wild parties, naked bimbos, and casual sex. You should be doing backflips."

That seemed to silence Dick, which was surprising because he almost always had a comeback. Mac looked up at him, but he was looking away out at the water, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't worry Dick. I won't let anyone in on the fact that you snore."

"Hah. Good one, Mackie." Dick hesitated for a few seconds. "I thought you were staying until Logan was coming back. Weren't you trying to save money until Veronica and Keith got MI back on its feet…"

"I've been doing free-lance work to make ends meet, but I don't really care about the money. I know I can always get by, and honestly, I don't want to get used to living like this…a girl could get spoiled. It's not real.." she hesitated again, "and I think it's time I got my own place."

"Uh, ok. When is moving day? A boy need to send out invitations for the Bon Voyage party, order the kegger and hookers."

"I've lined up a few places to see this weekend, maybe as early as next week."

Dick nodded and looked away again, then turned and headed for his room. Mac looked down at her wine glass, thought about grabbing the bottle to refill her glass. She had nervous knots in her belly, and she was feeling tense, almost like, oh, hell, no. She was not going to cry. She was not going to feel sorry for Dick and that sad face he gave her. Pushing aside her wine glass, she stood up and started to head for her room, maybe going for a walk or a run would shake off the feeling she had been having all day that she was making a mistake.

"Mac, wait. Don't go. I need to…I need to talk to you." She turned around towards the sound of Dick's voice, and watched as he walked towards her quickly.

"Dick, I.." She started to say but was stopped by his mouth descending on hers, his arms grabbing her shoulders. She hesitated for a second, knowing this was a bad idea, but for some reason all thought seemed to fly out of her head with his lips moving on hers. She sighed into his arms, and as if sensing her surrender, he pulled her tighter, but eased up on the kiss, giving her a chance to stop, to push him away, but she kept kissing him, grabbing his head with hands to pull his lips back.

That's all the encouragement he needed, wordlessly he laced his hand through hers, and dragged her to his bedroom, kissing her nose, her forehead, her cheeks as they stumbled down the hall.

In his room now, he hesitated. "Mac are you sure." She wrapped her arms around his waist, nodded her head and tilted her face up for another of those thought obliterating kisses. Quickly he pulled her over to his bed, lifting her shirt over her head, as she lay back on he elbows. He threw his own shirt off, knocking over something on his side-table, and she giggled at the sound. "No laughing. The Dickster is serious about what goes on his bedroom."

"Okay, Dick," she laughed, then gasped as he reached down to help her with her jeans, kissing her skin as he exposed her hips, then following a line down one leg, then the other. "God, Mackie, you're legs have been driving me crazy for weeks. Do you have any idea what it does to me when you wear those little running shorts?" His words were muffled as he kissed his way back up her calves and thighs, coming to her little white panties, he gently pulled them down her legs too, and came back up over her to kiss her as she grabbed his head, touching his cheek and running her hands through his hair.

Mac let out a little moan when he kissed his way down to her breasts, gently caressing one peak with his hand, his lips hovered over her nipple, his hot breath, then lips making her gasp as he licked and sucked on the hard point. "Do you like that Mackie? I want you to know, I'm a breast and a leg man." He mumbled as he moved his mouth over to her other nipple as she begin to quiver. Nipping, licking, and kissing his way back down her body, he came to her mound, and gently, he licked the seam, finding her hard little nub, he teased it gently with his tongue, just soft little butterfly licks at first. As he bent his head down and gently swirled his tongue over her clit, he reached up with his arms and begin massaging each of Mac's breasts. Her halted breath and wild moans, were driving him crazy, and he increased the speed of his tongue as he felt her losing control.

Mac moaned, and gasping his name, she pulled on his hair as her orgasm shook her body. "Dick do you have a condom? I want you inside me."

"They don't call me a boy scout for nothing." Dick reached into his bedside drawer to pull out a condom, and was getting ready to tear it open, when Mac reared up towards him, and pushed him back onto the bed. She curled up between his legs and lowered her head and took him into her mouth, gently at first, but with increasing speed and suction as she got into a steady rhythm.

"God, Mac , you're amazing." Dick gasped. "But if you don't stop, this night will be over soon." Mac looked up at him and smiled, climbing up his body, kissing his neck and his lips as she moved aside to let him get the condom on. As he lowered her onto her back, she spread and crooked her legs and he settled between them. Using her hands, she helped guide him into her, gasping as he pushed in to the hilt.

Mac had never felt so filled before and as he began pulling out and pushing back in, they first found a slow pace, getting accustomed to each other's bodies, but as she started to feel her next orgasm building she wrapped her legs around his waist, meeting him thrust for thrust, and they sped up, both nearing completion. Mac grabbed on to Dick's head again, reaching her mouth up for a kiss, and as he kissed her back, his tongue tangling with hers, she went over the edge, moaning his name again. Dick followed quickly with a groan, and collapsed, boneless on top of her.

At that moment, each had the same panicked thought running through their heads, "what the fuck did we just do?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Note: I really struggled with this chapter - I know where I want to go, but I feel like the characters want to take a different route to get there! And thanks for the kind reviews. I really appreciate the feedback.**

"Mac awoke in the dark, Dick's hand was flung over her hip, his face buried in the pillow next to hers. She must have fallen asleep for a few hours; she could see from Dick's alarm clock that it was still a few good hours until sunlight. Mac gently lifted Dick's arm away from her side, sliding her body sideways off the bed, trying not to disturb him. As she shifted her body off the bed, she heard Dick grumble into the pillow and she held her breath, hoping she hadn't woken him up. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she began gathering her clothes, but gave up the search for her panties; she would have to leave them as a souveneir, most likely not the first pair he had been accidentally gifted.

"As she padded out of the room and opened the door, the low rumble of Dick's voice made her freeze and wince. "You can stay you know—I'm ready for round two any time you are".

"Biting her lip, she squared her shoulders, and pressed the bundle of clothes more tightly to her chest. Feeling weirdly vulnerable in her nakedness, she didn't turn around . "Thanks for the offer, Dick, but I need to get back to my room, some of us need our beauty sleep. Besides, this way I save you the trouble of kicking me out in the morning." Mac tried to keep her tone light, but she had a hard time keeping a snarky edge out of her voice-she knew the words came out harsher than she intended.

Turning over in bed, but keeping an arm flung over his eyes, Dick was silent for a few seconds, trying to find the right words, which he knew was a losing battle for him. "Mac, you know I don't want to hurt you, right?"

Whatever he meant, the hint of pity she sensed in his words, squeezed at her heart, a feeling she didn't particularly like. She closed her eyes for a second, turned back around, left the door open, but dropped her clothes on the floor, making her way back to the bed.

Coming to Dick's side of the bed, Mac leaned over his body, her arms circling his neck, one hand sliding along his jaw, and up the side of his face into his hair. She leaned in to kiss him gently, sliding her tongue along his lower lip. As he opened his mouth with an slight exhaled moan, he let her in to his mouth as she tangled her tongue with his. As the kiss heated up, Dick groaned and tried to reach his arms around her to pull her down over him, but she reared back, lifting her face away from his, sliding her hands along his brows and down his cheek again gently.

"Dick, why do you think it's me who you should be worried about?" Not waiting for his answer, she pulled away from him and walked back to the door, picking up her clothes, and leaving him lying in bed in stunned silence.

The next few days should have passed awkwardly, but Dick and Mac returned to their normal routine. Mac would leave the house while Dick showered from his morning surfing. She would return from work, go running, prepare dinner, then head to her room to work. On the rare moments when they did run into each other, it was like nothing had happened. He still made her coffee, did her dishes, and if he had returned to his man-whoring ways, he kept it to himself.

If she was kidding herself, Mac thought this was probably the best way to handle their little tumble into erotic shenanigans. She could attribute the whole thing to her recent dry spell and his general sluttiness-it was nothing more than a one-time scratching of an itch for them both. But in those quiet moments before she fell asleep when she could hear his quiet sounds as he puttered around downstairs, she would mistake a move of his for a step up the stairs, and she would hold her breath, hoping he was coming up to her room. Each time she would be disappointed, and curse silently, wondering how she got into the insane situation that she might actually be longing for Dick Casablancas to knock on her door.

So when the little sublet apartment popped up on Craig's List, she jumped on the ad, securing the one bedroom apartment for a 3-month lease in a seedy, but generally safe part of town, a few blocks from the historic district. It was close to Mars Investigations, cheap, but temporary, giving her a real chance to take a breather from how weird her personal life had become lately.

Waking up that Saturday morning, she realized it was moving day, and she hadn't told Dick that she was moving out. 'Would he even notice? He emwould/em have a few less dishes to clean up.' She smirked to herself, but decided not to put herself through the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out what was in Dick's brain. Mac grimaced as she remembered all the boxes and bags she would have to carry out to her car, threw off her covers (yow went Dic's cat), and decided to face the inevitable painful day ahead.

"Yo, Mackie, what's with the bags messing up my house. You goin' on a trip?" Dick was standing in the kitchen in his half-on wet suite (sweet lord she was going to miss seeing those abs), drinking his morning green smoothie, as Mac returned to the house for another load of stuff to bring out to her car.

"Sorry Dick – I guess you could call it a trip – a trip to my new pad!" Mac wouldn't meet his eyes, but kept her expression neutral and sunny, trying to downplay any weird feeling of betrayal she was having./p

"Uh, what now?"

"I told you Dick, moving out. I know its short notice, but I found this great sublet near MI, and I just couldn't pass it up. Just think, you can get that second cat and turn my room into a full-on kitty playroom!"

Mac heaved a bag over her shoulder, heading back to the door, pretending to look for something in a side-pocket of the bag so she could avoid looking at him. "So, um, this is most of it—my car is full at least, but I'll be back later tonight to pick up my last few things." She hurried for the door without looking back. She felt as if he was staring holes in the back of her head, which was probably just her imagination. Mac wondered why she felt like she had just kicked a puppy, and why couldn't she look him in the eye.? Mac hated the feeling that she was doing something wrong, and filed this whole experience under 'temporary insanity' as she headed for her car to get away from looking into those baby blues that tried to hide so much.


	9. Chapter 9

Mac's day was filled with moving activities; unloading her car, getting things moved into her sparse, but furnished, little sublet, putting away clothes, setting up her desktop computer—yet again. She had somehow picked a day to move when both Veronica and Wallace both had prior engagements, the former had to complete handgun training (Mac gave a little prayer that the instructor had a lot of patience) and the latter had an away basketball game that had taken him out of town for the day. Mac was feeling cranky and tired, but she still had one last trip to make back to the beach house to fix up her few remaining odds and ends before heading back to her apartment for the night.

As she returned to the house, trotting up the steps, and pushing open the door, the sound of soft laughter followed by Dick's laughing voice, "I kid you not, I have in fact managed to moon my college's campus 's feminist club…" Mac groaned inwardly as she listened to Dick's story, wondering how she had ever felt sorry for the jackass. As she walked down the hall, Dick came into view behind the island. He was making what looked like cocktails for a bottle blonde, who was sitting in front of him at the island.

"Whoa, hey Mackie—thought I'd seen the last of your charming face." Dick seemed to have caught the same disease that Mac had where you couldn't look a person in the eye—his were glued to the blonde's ample and obviously enhanced chest. Mac herself was having trouble looking away at the feat of modern architecture and plastics as she followed the direction of Dick's gaze.

The blond swiveled in her chair to look at who had disturbed their little party, but taking in Mac's torn jeans and 3.14 Pi Day t-shirt, she quickly dismissed the smaller women and turned back to looking hungrily at Dick, eyeing him like dog after a juicy steak. "Dickie, I thought you said we were going to have the house to ourselves tonight?"

Trying not to gag at that 'Dickie,' Mac was unfortunately unable to miss the pointed reference to other nights where they weren't alone in the house, and felt her insides clench again, as heat started to rise in her cheeks. 'Damn her expressive face and blush reflex! This was why she was terrible at poker.'

"I just came to pick up the last of my stuff. I'll leave you guys to yourself in a few minutes." Mac headed up the stairs quickly, failing to see Dick give the blonde an exasperated look.

As Mac returned to what was now no longer her room, she tossed the last few of her things into her overnight bag, clenched her fists, and sat down on the bed, taking in the sun setting over the Pacific, knowing she was going to miss the airy bedroom, the view and the sound of the ocean, and even Dick's cat, which was even now pressing its little claws into her back.

Even though she had only been at the house a few weeks, she felt its pull, and knew she was going to miss living here. For Mac, who had never felt like she had fit in anywhere—not as a Mackenzie where her brains and introvertedness had made her a freak, and not really at Hearst, where the specter of Cassidy's actions and deaths had hung over her relationships, she wondered why this place made her feel this way, like she belonged? Why could she analyze a piece of code and unlock its secrets with ease, but she couldn't figure out what was going on in her own head? Mac was brought out of her silent reverie by the sounds of Dick and Bottle Blonde's laughter, and sighed as she stood up to head back down the stairs.

"Hey Dick, I'm heading out." Mac tossed the words out as she headed for the door quickly, trying but failing to avoid seeing the annoyed look on Dick's face as his attention slid away from his giggling companion.

"Yo, Mackie – See ya around, and don't let the door hit you on the way out." Dick bit out the words, but regretted them almost as soon as they were out of his mouth. He saw Mac's retreating figure freeze, saw her back clench up and her head jerk back and stiffen. She turned around to give him and Britney, Bethany (shit, what was her name?), one last look, which he was sure was one of total disgust, before she turned back to head for the door.

Dick wanted to call her back to stop her, say something to bring her easy smile back to her face, but while he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, he knew that he had fucked this thing up royally. Not to mention the fact that Betsey or Betty, or what' s her name was not taking the hint about leaving, and he couldn't exactly drag Mac into the house with her in the room. Dick just looked into his beer and shook his head at the mess his life was currently. Who was he kidding? The mess his life was like always.

* * *

Mac made it back to her little apartment, slammed closed the door, and promptly burst into tears, sliding down the door as her legs seemed to give out underneath her. She felt nauseous, and as she let the sobs out, she welcomed the feeling of release the tears offered as they flowed down her face. 'I am not fucking crying over Dick Casablancas and his stupid dumb blonde friend. I'm crying over the loss of his beautiful house!' Mac sniffled a little at the bad joke, and stood back up, looking around at her sad little home for the next three months. She wasn't sure what made her more depressed, the fact that she was crying over Dick, or that she would have to stare at these four walls for the next 12 weeks.

Shaking off the depressing thoughts, Mac squared her shoulders and headed for the bathroom, thinking that there was nothing a hot bath and a pizza couldn't cure. Sure she could feel sad about Dick, or rather the loss of Dick's body, or really the mind-blowing sex that Dick's body could provide. She sighed, but she would give herself one night to feel sad about whatever happened with Dick since her less than amazing return to Neptune, and then she was going to throw herself into work and getting herself a social life that did not revolve around any friends of Logan Echolls.

A quick bath later, Mac was feeling about 90% better, chalking up her earlier break-down to hunger, exhaustion and muscle aches, and not to Dick and his companion for the evening. Hearing the buzzer, she headed to the door in her bathrobe, toweling her hair dry, her stomach growling as visions of vegan pizza danced in her head. Swinging the door open with a cheeky grin, about to tell him he was her savior, she almost slammed it closed again when she saw that it wasn't the pizza guy, but Dick, standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking down at her with those baby blues and his usual smirk.

"I was just nowhere near your neighborhood and thought I'd stop by."

"Strike out with blondie?"

"Why Mackie, you jealous?"

With that, Mac did slam the door in his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Note: This was a fun chapter to write, and I hope you all enjoy it! Warning - this is definitely another Mature-Adult chapter. Oh yeah, I've noticed a lot of people use disclaimers on their work, so I guess I should too. All characters belong to Rob Thomas, the genius (not the douche bag that went solo). **

Slamming the door in that smirking face felt good, but almost as soon as the echo of the slam faded, Mac whirled around and opened the door, not sure what she was expecting to see, but she giggled as she took in Dick's expression, which was a mixture of shock and confusion. In that moment, looking at the walking-sex-on-a-stick that was Dick, Mac decided she was done with analysis or over-thinking for once in her life. She was going to live in the moment and damn the consequences. He was here and she wanted him and that was enough.

"I, uh…"

"Don't talk Dick. Shut up and kiss me."

"Yes, sir, I mean, mam."

Mac wound her arms around Dick's neck, tilting her head up to meet his lips as he bent down for a knee-wobbling kiss. Dick reached for Mac's hips as she leaned into him for support, wrapping her legs around his, trying to increase the amount of contact she could have with his body. Groaning at the feel of her, Dick reached down and grabbed that sweet ass, lifting her easily to his waist, as she wound her legs around his hips.

Carrying her to her kitchen counter, he set her down on it edge, spreading her legs, and lifting her left leg onto his shoulder, he leaned down to trail kisses from the inside of her knee, up to her hip.

"God, I missed this leg." Dick leaned forward to kiss collarbone, then nipped, kissed, and licked his way back down top her belly button, which had become exposed by the opening of her robe, then back to her thigh to her knee. "Thank god, you're naked under this robe. Did I tell you I loved this robe?" Dick muttered as he bent his head towards her exposed v, continuing his kisses there as he parted her outer lips. Mac shuddered and grabbed his hair, thanking her fairy godmother that Dick didn't seem to be a stranger to oral ministrations.

Gently easing his index finger into her wet opening, he pumped his finger gently, finding a pace that made Mac pant and moan as his thumb and tongue helped bring her to a moaning completion. Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, Dick grabbed Mac's shoulders, bringing her blissful face back to his as he took her mouth in a kiss. Wrapping her legs around his waist and hooking her feet under his cheeks, Mac leaned forward and pulled at Dick's shirt.

"I need your skin."

Registering her request, Dick took his hands from her arms to remove his shirt, and Mac gently undid the buttons and zipper of his jeans, sliding her hand into his boxers to run her fingers along the hard length of him.

"Condom?"

"Back pocket." Dick groaned out.

Mac reached around into his pockets, feeling for the condom as Dick pushed Mac's robe to the sides of her chest and reached to cup the tight peaks. As Dick leaned in to suck on her nipple, Mack groaned, and was distracted from mission-get-the condom.

Running her free hand through his hair, Mac gasped as Dick went from one nipple to the other, leaving her shaking and panting as he flicked and licked each tip. Groaning, unable to take much more torture, Mac pulled away to lay back on her elbows, waiting as Dick slipped the condom on. Positioning himself at her center, Dick grabbed her hips to hold her steady as he thrust up into her. Mac and Dick moaned at the same time as he buried himself in her tight passage. Dick paused to let her get used to the feel of him, and looking down at her, enjoyed the sight of her expressive face as he rested in her. Just then, Mac tightened her muscles around him, and he groaned. "Mac...damn you're so tight."

Mac leaned forward again, and wrapping her legs around his waist, she wound her arms around his head and covered his lips with her own, kissing him as he found his pace. Mac could feel herself nearing another orgasm and she reached around to grab his back as his last thrust took her over the edge and she quaked around him. Blown away by her responsiveness, Dick's tempo increased as he neared his own orgasm, grinding her hips into his, and kissing and nipping at her neck-with a final thrust, he came with a cry.

As they leaned into each other, boneless, Dick's forehead resting on Mac's. The only sound that could be heard in the apartment was their heavy breathing. Just then, the buzzer sounded and they both jumped. Mac grabbed her robe together and tightened her belt, sliding down from the counter.

"I think that's my pizza." Mac gave Dick a minute to fix his pants and find his shirt, and as he slipped it over his head, she opened the door, paid the delivery guy, and brought her dinner into the kitchen. Looking away from the counter and blushing, she set the pie on the little table in the cramped dining "area."

"Do you want me to go?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe?"

"Do you want to talk, like, talk about stuff?" From the look on Dick's face, Mac could tell that was the last thing he wanted to do, and she almost took pity on him. Sighing, Mac crossed her arms, and looked steadily at Dick, who was eying her ugly linoleum floor with obvious distaste.

"First I want to eat. Then we can talk."

Dick stuck his hands in his back pockets, nodding at her, and looking away quickly, he glanced around the apartment.

"Mackie?"

"Yeah, Dick?"

"I mean this with no disrespect, but this place is really a dump."

"Thanks, Dick."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them-they keep me going! I'm sorry about all the typos and grammar mistakes in the last couple of chapters. I will try to do better! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and I hope you like it too. This one is a bit M for language and sexual situations.**

**The characters don't belong to me. They are the property of the brilliant Rob Thomas. Thanks for letting me borrow them.**

Dinner was less of an awkward affair than Mac expected, with Dick cracking jokes about the 'not real pizza,' that they shared, and Mac laughing at Dick's expressions of disgust over the fact his pizza lacked meat or cheese (the two things according to him that made it a pizza). As they lingered over their beer (lite beer was not "real" beer either, according to Dick) on the couch, Mac felt the events of the day and the lateness of the hour in her bones, and she struggled to stay awake. Mac sighed and let out a little yawn, which she tried to cover, as she curled up with her feet tucked under her robe modestly, knowing they could no longer avoid the conversation they had been putting off since the delivery of dinner.

"Wear you out, didn't I?" Dick turned his head towards Mac, waggling his eyebrows suggestively as he took his final swallow of Mac's terrible girlie-diet beer.

Not taking the bait, Mac just gave him a long stare and yawned again.

"Ok, Mackie, I take the hint. I'll get out of your hair, if that's what you want, but just to be clear, I'm welcome back, again, right?" Dick looked down at his bottle as he posed the question, trying to sound nonchalant, but holding his breath as he waited for her answer. Shit, when did he hold his breath waiting for an answer from a girl? He raised his eyebrows at the thought, and blew out the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Yeah Dick, but on one condition." Mac hesitated, hating to have to ask, but knowing if she didn't that it would kill her to wonder about what he did to fill his time between late night visits to her door. "If you want to see me again, like see me naked again, just so we're clear…you can't be seeing anyone else naked." Mac found his eyes and waited while he processed her words.

"Well there you go Mac, you've got nothing to worry about on that front. I'm kind of a one woman at a time kind of guy."

"Dick, it doesn't count if the one woman at a time is a different woman each day of the week." It was Mac's turn to look down at her own beer bottle, avoiding Dick's eyes this time. "I don't want to walk in on another blonde at the kitchen island, unless that blonde is Veronica."

"Message received, Mackie."

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, until Mac broke the moment with a quiet yawn.

"I guess that's my cue to say goodnight." Dick stood up quickly, putting down his bottle on Mac's coffee table. Mac stood up to follow him to the door, and as he reached for the door knob to close it on his retreating back, Dick turned around and Mac stood back, waiting for him.

"No chance for a goodnight quickie? One for the road?"

"Goodnight, Dick."

"Are you sure Macster? I would do all the work." Dick smirked at her, but Mac was starting to learn that these attempts at bad humor were Dick's way to ease the tension, or get a rise at of her. She was going to go with the latter this time, and nodded her head in the negative, with a half-smile on her closed lips. As Mac closed the door on Dick's face, she heard his final, "Call me later, babe," and smiled and let out a quiet hushed laugh, and rolled her yes.

Mac's tired brain was screaming at her for sleep, but she couldn't help rewinding the days events in her head, from her move, to that miserable scene back at the beach house, to her and Dick's kitchen sex gymnastics, and finally coming back to the prior five minutes, where she realized that she may have just agreed to engage in some kind of relationship with Dick that involved monogamy. Shaking her head at the mystifying development, she decided to head for bed, finally too tired to figure out how her life had taken her to this point.

* * *

The next few weeks settled into another sort of routine—during the day Mac threw herself into work as Veronica and Keith's caseloads began to fill back up. She found a new running route, and actually joined a yoga studio. She eased up a little on the free-lance work, but took a few jobs, just to keep her skills tight and her name out there.

Easing back on the free-lance work was sort of a necessity now anyway since Mac's nights were now busy with Dick's visits, and God, did he keep her busy. All those late nights he kept, she found out were mostly the result of his evening cross-fit routine (surfing alone didn't get you those abs, she learned). The first time Dick showed up in his sweaty gym clothes, she practically threw him on the floor and had her way with him there, stifling his protests about needing a shower, loving the feel and smell of his sweat-moistened skin.

It was on one of those nights that Mac found herself naked and thoroughly relaxed in bed, laying on her stomach, her head squashed into her pillow. Dick's head was positioned near her waist, laying on his stomach, supported by his elbows, his legs sprawled out perpendicular to her body on his side of the bed. Dick was running his fingers lazily down her lower back, over her buttocks, and down to the top of her thigh, which was doing a good job distracting her from sleep.

"Mackie you really have been doing the world an injustice hiding this amazing ass from the world for so long."

"Ugh," Mac groaned, "shut up Dick, I'm trying to sleep."

Ignoring her grumbled response, Dick continued, "Mack, can I ask you a question?"

"Does the question have something to do with my ass?"

"Of course not, Mackie, actually it was about that mole on your left tit. You should really have that looked at."

"Dick. If you want to see that 'tit' or any part of me again, you should think really harder before you speak again."

"Aw, Mac, you're no fun." Dick was silent for a few seconds, but kept stroking down her back to her thigh lightly, tracing little circles on her skin along the way, which was really starting to drive Mac crazy. "Mac, I know this is a sweet pad and all, with its 1900s plumbing and excellent location next to the meth clinic, so don't take this the wrong way, but what's the real reason you decided to move out of the beach house? I ask only because Logan thinks I did something to freak you out, and I got to get my story straight. The current one where we boned and then you fled is going to lose me a nut or two."

Hearing Dick put together more than two sentences at once and knowing that the question probably cost Dick, who while all up for pillow "jokes,"—pillow "talk" being pretty much off limits for them, Mac chose her words carefully, which was difficult considering what his hands on her was doing to her lower parts.

"I don't know. I guess, it was too comfortable…even, even before we had sex, I didn't like how much I liked living there."

"You liked living there so you had to move out. That makes like zero sense. Remember how we tried to fool around in your shower last week, and I nearly broke my back? Well my shower has this really nice bench and steam setting. It makes after gym sex much easier."

"It wasn't that bad Dick," Mac said as she reached down to swat his arm.

"Damn right." Mac giggled into the pillow at the pride in his voice.

"I guess I knew it was going to end, and I didn't want to get too attached, to the house, not you, you idiot." Mac clarified at his self-satisfied grin. "And I think it worked out for the better. Imagine if we had continued our little sexcapades while living together? It would have been really awkward kicking me out when Logan moved back in. I saved us both a lot of trouble."

"Mac honestly, I think you think too much."

"You know what my dad said to me when he dropped me off at college?" Dick nodded prompting her to go on. "He said, 'Cindy, never shit where you eat.'"

"That is disgusting, Mac, your dad sounds like a scary dude. Remind me never to meet him, and I have no idea what that has to do with you living at the beach house."

"That's just it. You don't mess up where you're at. I guess I didn't want to mess things up." Mac twisted up to look at him, trying to make him understand."

"Are you saying you think we're 'messing up'?" Suddenly the conversation had gotten serious, and Mac wasn't sure how to go back.

"No, but I mean, we haven't even gone on a date. Then bam, to go from no date, to sex, to already living together. I guess I got scared." That seemed to appease Dick, and he pushed Mac back down, continuing his exploration of her back.

"So are you saying we should go on a date?" Mac was silent as Dick followed his question by replacing his hand with his mouth and nipping at her cheek. As he waited for her answer, he started to kiss and lick his way up her back. Getting up to her neck, he gently kissed and nuzzled below her ear, turning her body gently over, and running his hands up her waist to cup her breast. Spreading her legs, Mac made room as Dick moved up between them, positioning himself to slide into her wet opening. Mac gasped and moaned as Dick teased her, but stopped before thrusting fully.

"Dick, don't be a tease"

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," she gasped into his lips as he slid home, wrapping her legs and arms around him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: This is sort of a filler chapter - I know where I want to go, but I'm having a hard time getting the characters there! I hope you all enjoy. My apologies for any typos or grammar problems- I'm also learning I'm a terrible copy editor of my own work!**

**Please note that I don't own any of the characters. They are the sole property of the lovely Rob Thomas.**

"Hey, Q." Veronica peaked her head out of her office, standing in her door as Mac worked on their latest case.

"Hey Bond. What's up?

"Nothing much, I just feel like we haven't seen much of each other outside of work, and I was thinking maybe we should do happy hour somewhere. Catch up on girl talk?"

Mac didn't look up from her screen, carefully considering what the next few words might unleash. "No can do tonight V." She hoped Veronica would leave it at that, but she knew with nervous knots in her stomach—why did her best girlfriend have to be a PI? -nothing gets past this girl—that Veronica would start her snooping.

"Come on, Mac, what would be better than dollar beers, and ½ price appetizers?"

Mac smiled at Veronica, hoping she would take the hint that she didn't want to talk, knowing at the same time that hinting was futile when Veronica was on the trail. Veronica just looked pointedly at Mac, waiting for an explanation. Mac sighed and prepared herself mentally for the coming inquisition.

"I've got plans."

"Plans with whom?" The dreaded question. Veronica crossed her arms, leaned against the door jamb and looked like she was settling in.

"Dinner…It's no big deal."

"Dinner with whom?"

Mac sighed again, knowing resistance was futile. Eventually Mac would have to tell Veronica who she was seeing. Mac just had sort of thought in the back of her mind that things with Dick would never get to a place where she would need to explain it to Veronica. She could barely explain it to herself…

"Dick," she mumbled.

"Dick? Dick who?" Veronica looked seriously confused—this wasn't starting off well.

"Dick Casablancas." Mac placed her head in her hands and waited for the inevitable lecture/third-degree.

"You are going on a date, like a romantic date, not a platonic date between friends, perhaps to discuss the preferred programming language for developing apps? A date, with Richard Casablancas, moron Dick?

"Yes."

"Okay, then. I'm just going to go back into my office because I seemed to have entered an alternate reality." Veronica made as if she was turning back into her office, but hesitated, waiting for Mac to say something.

"Veronica…look, I'm not…I feel like I've entered into an alternate reality too. I wish I had an explanation, but all I can say is that I like being with him. I feel..." Mac tried to find the right words to explain, but she stumbled because she had avoided thinking too much about it until this moment. "I feel not...comfortable…I feel content. Like this, whatever is, is right…right now. We have fun. I haven't had a lot of fun in my life."

"Okay, my super genius best friend. I'm not going to say I understand, but I get wanting to escape, better than anyone, and I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what. And if you need me to have Dick's car 'disappeared' one day, I hope I'm the first one you go to."

Mac smiled weakly at Veronica. "Absolutely, I wouldn't dream of asking anyone else." Mac turned back to her computer, hoping it was the end of the conversation.

"Mac, just…be careful." Veronica turned away at Mac's quick nod. Mac wished she could say to Veronica that it wouldn't happen, but Mac was worried that it was too late for that. Mac's happy fling, or whatever it was, had gone past the point where hurt was the inevitable conclusion, but Mac knew she couldn't turn back now.

* * *

Mac was meeting Dick that night at a popular restaurant near the beach. She liked the menu for its vegan options, Dick liked it for its proximity to the beach house—'less chance I'll get pinched for drunk driving,' he would joke. Though by this point Mac knew that Dick liked to exaggerate his drinking-he would order a beer, but usually nursed it throughout dinner, and rarely ordered two.

They had been going on these 'dates' for a few weeks now. Dick would text her to meet for dinner after work and then accompany her back to her apartment. At first it was only once or twice a week, but this week, they had gone out for dinner twice, and now they were meeting on Friday night. This was the first dinner out that Mac had initiated, texting Dick that she wanted to celebrate the end of her first really big case with Veronica. Mac also knew that Logan would be home in a few weeks, and she might not have Dick all to herself in the very near future, a thought that was startling on multiple levels.

Waiting at the bar for him now, Mac was surprised to see a familiar face attached to a waving hand at the end of the bar. The hand was attached to a body that was quickly striding towards her spot towards the front of the bar as she waited for Dick to arrive. "Bronson?"

"Mac, I mean Cindy? I thought that was you." Bronson leaned in to hug Mac warmly, which was sort of surprising considering how the last time she had talked to him involved breaking up with him.

Holding onto her hand, Bronson took a long glance up and down Mac's frame, lingering on her legs and then back up to her face, taking in her toned body and stylish haircut. "Mac, you look amazing. I can't believe of all the people I would run into again in Neptune it would be you." Bronson grinned sheepishly—he always had a nice smile, Mac thought, and he went in for another hug, reminding Mac a bit of an over-excited puppy. Of course, it was at just this moment that Dick chose to make his entrance, his best impression of an idiot's voice breaking up the pair.

"Whoa, Mac, you might have told me this night was going to involve a threesome—I would have suggested someone more feminine for the party."

Mac pulled away from Bronson, who was obviously embarrassed by the comment, and gave Dick an exasperated glare. "Dick…" she said, hoping futilely that he would listen to the warning in her voice.

"No, really. I'm obviously interrupting something here. I'll just leave you two to it. Call me later Mac—we both know that late is when you like to call me." Dick glared at Bronson when he made the innuendo, gave Mac a hard look and turned quickly and strode away back towards the entrance of the restaurant.

"Look, Bronson. I'm sorry." Mac stood awkwardly in front of Bronson, embarrassed.

"No Mac—I remember that asshole from Hearst. He flashed one of our campus rallies against animal experimentation. I don't know how you can be involved with someone like him….well, maybe I do. You always had a thing for jerks." With that, Bronson gave Mac a hard look, and turned to make his way back to his spot at the end of the bar.

"Ugh, I should have just done happy hour with Veronica," Mac muttered angrily to herself and strode quickly towards the door. Once outside, the target of Mac's anger was standing at the curb, waiting for his car at the valet stand. For a second, Mac thought about just ignoring him, but she had to walk past him get to her own car, which was parked on a side street nearby, and was too pissed to listen to her better angels.

"You could try not acting like your name for like one second," Mac bit out as she walked by, continuing down the street, not waiting for a response.

"Not very original, Mac. I something a little more clever from you."

"Seriously. That's all you have to say to me. You humiliated me."

"I humil…" Dick stared angrily at Mac. "You're the one grinding up against that dude on date night."

"He was hugging me Dick. It was nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing. Across the room I could see that guy eyeing you like a diabetic eyes cheesecake. He practically had his hand on your ass. That is my ass!"

"Go to hell, Dick, no part of my body belongs to you." Mac whirled back around and started heading back to her car. She didn't get far before she heard footsteps and Dick's voice.

"Look Mac. I'm sorry okay. Don't go." Dick groaned, and hurried to catch up with her. "Why couldn't my girl be like some nice non card-carrying feminist? Shit. I just wanted to go dinner and then have lots of dirty sex with you after I'd warmed you up with a few margaritas, maybe try out a few new positions."

"God, Dick. That is a shitty apology." Mac had stopped to listen to him, but started walking away again.

"Mac, I'm sorry. Honest to god."

"What was your problem? He was just hugging me!" Mac stopped and glared at him, arms akimbo.

* * *

Looking at the adorable and angry woman in front of him, tapping her heels at him, glaring out from under her shock of short blonde-streaked hair, Dick actually had a moment of sheer panic. Dick's first instinct was to run away, but this was Mac. She didn't get mad very often, well maybe when some documentary about clubbing baby dolphins came on or some shit like that, but she was like ridiculously cool (and freakishly flexible). He struggled to make his mouth not spew out his usual jackass comments. Those were what got her mad this time in the first place—that got most women mad, but that never really bothered him too much. He just couldn't believe how pissed he felt when he saw that little Kewpie doll Bronson, who Dick couldn't help but remember was Mac's boyfriend from Hearst for a while, and he almost couldn't believe her innocent act. That jerk-off was practically feeling Mac up – he had every right to be pissed, didn't he?

"Look, I saw him looking at you like you were a piece of meat and then hugging you, and I didn't like it. I freaked, okay. Are you happy now?" He winced, knowing that last comment was not going to win him any points.

Mac kept glaring at him, but then loosened up her arms and sighed, looking off into the distance for a second. Dick was sure she was gearing up to tell him to screw off for good.

"I guess I get a little cranky when I'm hungry too." Mac looked down at her feet, then leaned into him, and looked up at him with her big blue eyes, which he was pretty sure were swallowing him whole, taking his hand with her own and lacing her fingers through his. "Do you want to get dinner, maybe take-out. Play video games?"

"You don't have a gaming system at your place."

"Let's go to your place. You've got that big TV anyway."

"Naked video games?" Dick eyed her hopefully, smiling.

"I'm not making any promises, but I have a feeling nudity could be in your future if you play your cards right."

* * *

They ate dinner on Dick's patio, watching the sun go down, the sound of the waves and the sea gulls relaxing them both. Mac as usual was trying to avoid thinking about that a) Dick referred to her as his 'girl' and that b) Dick was the jealous type. She was failing miserably, running over the events at the restaurant and that scene with Dick by the valet stand. Dick thankfully picked up her slack and kept up a running commentary about his 'freaky' neighbors.

Apparently one set were swingers, 'the ugly kind', which really bothered Dick because he felt that all the pornos he'd seen about swingers were really misleading. The other set were into crystals and 'shit' and were always trying to get Dick to meditate, which if he wanted to sit around and do nothing, he could just take a nap or something. Mac giggled along with Dick and wondered to herself how Dick ended up being the most normal person in his neighborhood? Maybe it was true that all the '09ers were as messed up as she suspected from high school.

"You done?" Dick asked, standing up to clear her dinner. "You want another margarita?"

"Sure, I'll keep you company while you make it."

Mac followed Dick into the kitchen where he started to gather the lime, tequila and ice for another drink. "Dick, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, babe, I'm an open book. Besides, you would just get Ronnie to get it out of me anyway if it's something you really wanted to know.

Mac nodded her head in agreement and smiled at him, watching as he carefully cut a lime for her drink.

"Why did you date Madison in high school?"

"Really, Mac. Not expecting you to take that trip down memory lane. Uh, mostly because she would have sex with me. I was 16 when we first started hooking up. It was either her or pie and our cook was getting really tired of me ruining dessert."

"Seriously, Dick." Mac just looked at him as he continued to cut limes, aware that he probably didn't the 12 slices he had in front of him to make her one drink.

Dick sighed. "Okay, okay. I guess you've been picking up some of Ronnie's buzz-killing abilities. I mean, I guess that was why I kept dating her. At first it was because…," Dick was clearly struggling to find the right words, "because would you believe we both felt like we were the stupid ones in our families. It sort of made us bond."

"What, really?" Mac scoffed at him, looking confused, waiting for him to continue.

"Yeah. Well you know about my family—I was the family dunce next to Bea…" Dick stopped himself, then went on, "but I guess Madison was like the village idiot in her family too. Her dad was some kind of math genius, and her mom was supposedly really smart too, like skipped grades and shit. And then I guess Lauren was born and she was also kind of freakishly smart too. I think Madison thought she had gotten the dumb genes. I think that's why we got along so well at first—we were both outcasts in our families. Then she went and nailed her new pool guy, so our little bonding didn't mean much in the long run."

Mac was processing this revelation—that Madison didn't feel like she belonged in her family either. It explained so much about so much, but led to more questions about Dick's own family and behavior, that Mac knew Dick wouldn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole, especially after the scene with Bronson. This was enough drama and catharsis for one night, Mac decided.

"Dick, I don't think I want to play video games after all."

"You want me to give you a ride back to your car?"

"No?"

"No." Mac looked at him pointedly. He was obviously not taking the hint.

"Uh, you want to do something else?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Mac walked around the island, grabbed his hand, and started leading him out of the kitchen, towards his bedroom. "Take me to bed, lover."

"Why didn't you say that like five minutes ago?" Dick let go of Mac's hand, grabbed her around the waist, and threw her over his shoulder, rushing them towards his bedroom door.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: I think I'm coming into the home stretch for our characters. Thanks for all the wonderful supportive reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter (though some may not) and I will try to post again in another few days.**

**Please know that none of the characters are my creation and many thanks to Rob Thomas &amp; Company for inspiring me as I borrow them (and if you're not supporting him by watching iZombie you should be ashamed of yourselves)!**

The smell of coffee and the sound of hushed voices woke Mac from her sound sleep, and as she stretched groggily, she wondered who could Dick possibly be having a Saturday morning breakfast meeting with? While snooping didn't come naturally to Mac, being around Veronica for so long had clearly rubbed off on her, and she padded quietly over to the slightly opened door, grabbing Dick's t-shirt to throw on over her head along the way.

"Ronnie, you know you didn't have to come over here to plan Logan's welcome back shin-dig—a call, a text, a telegram, they all would have worked too." Mac smiled at the snark in Dick's voice knowing now how he used it for cover, and empathized with his unease—Veronica didn't make her little visits lightly and having been the recipient of her little out of the blue visits many a time, she wondered what "favor" her friend would ask of Dick.

"Look Dick, I didn't come over just to talk about who's buying the cheese platter, I need to talk to you about something, and I thought it would be better in person."

"This should be good. What could we possibly have to discuss this time? Oh, I know? You're looking for a suspect in your latest crime? Do I need an alibi?"

"No Dick—I'll just cut to the chase, I want to know what's going on between you and Mac. Logan's coming home soon and the idea of going on double-dates with you two is frankly sickening me. I need to prepare myself mentally for the sight of you and Mac as a couple."

Mac bit her lip, tempted to walk out and end the conversation now—angered by her friend asking the questions that she couldn't, but her feet felt planted to the floor and she realized she was holding her breath waiting for Dick's response.

"Whoa there Columbo—I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Well, see Dick, that's where you're wrong. Mac's my best friend and if she gets…if anything happens to her, that's my business. And for some reason Logan loves you like a brother and if you make problems for Mac, you make problems for me and Logan. So let's be clear—whatever is going on between you two is a big fucking deal to me."

Mac could hear Veronica working up to a major snit, and was feeling a little bad for Dick—he hardly deserved the inquisition. Mac looked around for something to throw on her legs, not wanting to enter the room in Dick's t-shirt and her underwear, but Dick's next words halted her in place.

"Mac and I are just friends, okay? And we plan to stay that way. We're not like a couple or anything—so don't get your panties in a twist. No double-dates, and no drama with Logan, I can promise you that."

"Friends don't get naked with each other on the regular, Dick." Veronica pointed out.

"Yeah, well, few people have friends that look as good naked as I do." Mac heard Veronica make a gagging sound.

"Gross, Dick. She deserves better than being your weekend fuck buddy."

"Well, maybe you should take that up with her, but Mac seems pretty happy with the status quo. When Mac says we're done—I'll be cool with it, so you have nothing to worry about. "

"Sure Dick—you're nothing if not consistent, but whatever is going on between you and Mac, just don't make it into something …Mackie!" Veronica stopped mid-sentence as Mac poked her head out of Dick's bedroom door, walking towards the kitchen in a pair of Dick's boxer shorts and t-shirt. Veronica actually looked shocked to see Mac in Dick's house and Dick's clothes, and rushed on. "Hey my lady—I must have missed my invite to Dick's sleepover—I hoped I didn't miss any hair braiding and giggling over cute boys-Dick and I were just brainstorming for Logan's welcome home party. I hope I didn't wake you up."

"No, I mean, well yeah. I woke up and heard voices. Thought I would investigate."

"Well Dick has everything covered for Logan, so I guess I'm done here. Maybe we can get together tomorrow for coffee?" Veronica hugged Mac as she headed to the door. "Dick—I'll text you the rest of the details about Logan's thing. No need to walk me out. I know the way." With a final glare at Dick, Veronica exited the beach house.

"I don't know how someone so tiny can be so scary." Dick grimaced and shook himself. "Not to mention the fact that she ruined my plans for some morning nookie. There's no way I could convince you to head back to bed? Pretend our morning wasn't ruined by Captain Boner-kill?"

"Dick did you mean what you said to her?"

"Uh, which part?" Dick was looking a little worried, and it would have been sweet if Mac weren't feeling as if her heart hadn't dropped somewhere down to the vicinity of her feet.

"The part where you said we'd be cool if I wanted to stop the night-time visits."

Dick was looking even more confused, and was slow to respond.

"Sure. You're like, my friend, dude, we'll be cool no matter what."

Mac was looking at Dick searchingly, maybe hoping to see some sign of something, some hint that Dick had deeper feelings, but he was looking away from her, avoiding eye-contact.

Realizing she was holding her breath, Mac let it out with a sigh, "Dick, I think we should just be friends."

"Cool, Mackie, that's what I just said, now how bout I get that t-shirt back and we christen my kitchen counter-top." Dick's response was pretty much what Mac expected, but she was hoping he wouldn't make this any harder on her than it needed to be.

"No, Dick. I mean platonic friends." Dick just looked at Mac, faked confusion written all over his face.

"Pla-what now?"

"No more sexy times, Dick. We'll be non-naked buddies only."

"I knew Ronnie was going to ruin my day." Dick groaned, running his hands through his hair. "Why Mac?—I thought we were cool. Was it the way I acted with 'Octopus Hands' last night?"

"No, I don't know...maybe?" Mac hesitated, trying to find the right words, "I guess when no one knew we were sleeping together, I didn't have to think about what it meant. It was like I was living in a bubble, but now…" Mac looked up at him, trying to make him understand, though she wasn't really sure what she was trying to make him see.

"Don't want the world to know you're slumming it with Dick Casablancas, huh Mac? Sure, I get it."

"No, Dick. That's not it all." Mac walked up to him, grabbing his hand and forcing him to look at her. "I like being with you, and the sex is obviously amazing,'..."

"Damn, right it is."

Mac ignored Dick's interruption"...but I know eventually you or I will want to see someone else—someone maybe we can have a real future with, someone without our baggage, and I wouldn't feel right sleeping with you and trying to start dating someone else."

Dick dropped Mac's hand and turned around, leaning down on the kitchen island, and sighed. "Mac, I get it. I just don't know why we have to quit now before any of that stuff happens?"

"We just do, Dick. Take it from me. Are we cool?"

"Sure, buddy." Dick turned around quickly and grabbed Mac, pulling her up to him, making her gasp at the full body contact. "One last quickie for 'ol' time's sake'?" Dick waggled his eyebrows at her, but pulled away, feeling her shake her head no.

"Nice try, Dick, but I'll think I'll pass." Despite her words, Mac let herself lean-in and hugged Dick, laying her head on his chest, taking in his scent maybe for the last time. Dick didn't respond at first, arms slack at her waist, but eventually returning the embrace, hesitantly at first, then responding more fiercely, squeezing his arms around her, leaning his head down into the crook of her neck. They stood there for a few moments, before Mac pulled away, awkwardly looking away from Dick.

"Better go get my stuff. No more avoiding my walk of shame." Mac headed back to Dick's bedroom, leaving him in silence as she walked away, not wanting to look back afraid of what she might-even more afraid of what she might not see.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Thanks for the continued support my dedicated reviewers! After rereading the last chapter, I feel like I rushed the break-up a bit (I guess I don't like to see Mac and Dick apart very much), and I do apologize. This next is a quick chapter from Mac's POV. Just a few more chapters left, but maybe a little more angst will be coming before we see an end to the story...**

**Though I love these characters, I didn't create them nor do I own them - they belong to Rob Thomas Co!**

_**Note 2! I had a problem with my first posting - some of the HTML tags were displaying-I got rid of them all I hope, but there might be an extra "/p" tag or quotation mark I missed.**_

Mac padded over to her door, opening it for Veronica, who had promised coffee to make up for her early morning visit. "That's not happiness to see me."

"Hackers aren't generally morning people." Mac grumbled, accepting Veronica's preferred cup of coffee.

"You were pretty chipper yesterday morning." Veronica gave Mac a knowing smirk as she sipped her coffee, settling into Mac's hideous plaid sofa. Looking around the room, she shuddered at the amazing combination of bird-themed wallpaper and striped and/or flower-print furniture that littered the little room.

"Yeah, well that was a one-time event." Mac looked away from Veronica, focusing instead on twisting the corrugated paper wrapper on her coffee cup. Why was she having so much trouble looking at people in the eyes these days?

"Mac, I'm cool with whatever you have going on with Dick. I don't want you to feel like you have to keep secrets from me. And I'm so sorry for walking in on you two. I should have put it together that he had you over- I mean I've never found Dick to be the deepest guy, but it took me like 10 minutes to get rid of his big dopey self-satisfied smile. It usually takes like 30 seconds to for me to mess up his good moods, so I should have know you were there."

Mac smiled weakly at Veronica's quip. "It's not that V. I'm not trying to hide anything from you. You know I'm not good at that kind of thing anyway." Mac hesitated, taking another sip of her coffee. "It's just that there won't be anymore sleep-overs in our futures. Dick and I are over with our nocturnal adventures, or whatever it was."

"Ugh, Mac, was it because of me? If Dick freaked out because I asked him about his intentions, then I am sorry and I will seriously…"

"Veronica, stop. It had nothing to do with you, seriously, and Dick didn't do anything wrong either." Mac put down her cup and finally looked at Veronica. "Though maybe hearing Dick refer to me as his sex buddy was the catalyst, and I have you to thank for that I guess."

"I'm really sorry Mackie. Are you sure I can't just give Dick a little shock with Mr. Sparky, on low?"

p class="MsoNormal"Mac smiled and shook her head. "No V. That won't be necessary. I just decided that whatever 'it' was between me and Dick needed to come to an end." Mac looked away from Veronica again, knowing those probing investigator's eyes missed nothing.

"Oh, thank god. If that ass dumped you I would have to murder him and explaining to my boyfriend's that I made his best bro disappear, would have been awkward."

"V-" Mac sighed and rolled her eyes. "Could you please stop with the threats to murder Dick—it doesn't exactly reflect well on me."

"Sure, Mackie, but he didn't deserve you anyway."

"I wish people would stop saying that." Mac was finally starting to get aggravated at her friend's attempts at sympathy.

"What do you mean? This is Dick Casablancas afterall? I know he's conventionally good looking if you're into tall, good-looking, rich men with great bodies and all..." Veronica made a gagging sound, "but I know you Mac. You never just fell for a pretty face."

Mac struggled to defend herself, defend Dick, but she was afraid of what that defense would mean if she voiced it to Veronica. How could she admit that somehow sexual attraction had grown into something else? Something much more painful to admit? That walking out on Dick yesterday made her feel like she had kicked a puppy, and that hug? That hug! Where Dick had acted like he had never been hugged before—it had killed her. She hadn't wanted to leave him, she had wanted to stay in his arms and figure out a way to keep the sadness out of his stupid beautiful eyes. What was wrong with her?!

Never failing to sniff out a lead, Veronica guessed that Mac's silence and glassy-eyed expression was all the answer she needed, and came to a startling realization.

"Un-oly bananas! You have feelings for Dick Casablancas, and not just the lady part kind, like the girly-movie kind of feelings?"

"Veronica." Mac groaned, and dropped her head into her hands.

Veronica scooted closer to Mac on the couch and threw her arms around her friend in sympathy. "Welcome to the club, my lady. You wouldn't be the first to fall for a moronic jackass, and you're definitely not going to be the last."

"V-" Mac sighed in resignation, "What am I going to do?"

"Well, girl, the only thing anyone should do in your situation."

"Join a convent? Electro-shock therapy? Take up drinking?"

Veronica shook her head sadly at each suggestion.

"You've got to tell the truth."

"What's plan b?" Mac groaned and shook her head.

* * *

Mac of course opted for the more cowardly route of avoidance and throwing herself into her work. She really didn't socialize with Dick outside of seeing Veronica and Logan, and since Logan wasn't due back from his deployment for a few more weeks, she figured she had time to work out how she was going to deal with seeing Dick again. Mac knew she would be more likely to see him once Logan was back in town, and until then she dreaded the idea of running into him with another one of his bar/beach babe bimbos, and hoped that maybe whatever she was 'feeling' for Dick would go away like a bad head cold.

Hoping was one thing, reality was another, and even though Mac took on more work to keep her nights occupied, when her tired head hit her pillow, she found that she couldn't sleep. She missed the feel of Dick's body next to hers. She missed his complaints about the ugly curtains, the creaky bed, or her small shower. And she hated thinking of him with other women. Had he already found a new friend with benefits? Her thoughts would race and she hated it. When mornings came, she was tired and groggy, her bed and sleep no haven from her restless brain.

Mac was starting to dread going into work, knowing that Veronica was noticing the dark circles and her less than chipper mood. She hated the looks of sympathy or the offers to talk that Veronica offered. What could she say that hadn't been said before? Mac knew that all wounds would heal in time, and all that nonsense...so she just had to get through these (hopefully) next few weeks of sadness. Because there was no way she was going to accept a lifetime of being hopelessly in love with that lunk-head, Dick Casablancas.

**P.S. I got a little inspiration for this chapter from this great quote from Melissa Banks-it really helped me work through how Mac could fall in love with Dick: "It scares me how fast I go from disliking him to loving him, and I wonder if it's this way for everyone." (from The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: This is mostly an exposition chapter to set the up last one or possibly two chapters, but I also included a little section of dialogue between Dick and Logan to get a little bit into Dick's brain (not that I want to get too much in there-I pretty much love Dick as a big moron).**

**Thank you for all the kind reviews. They are truly inspiring, and make me want to keep writing!**

**These characters belong to Rob Thomas, the creator of Veronica Mars-I'm only borrowing them for my writing pleasure!**

"Dude, what is your problem? This is a party, I don't think anyone is going to care about how clean the carpets are." Logan gave Dick an exasperated look as he watched his friend of over 20 years run the vacuum for what must have been the third time over their tiny little area rug.

"Sorry man. I know you're used to the easy life of a seaman, but I like my place um—"

"Is 'shipshape' perhaps the word you are looking for, Dick?"

"No, definitely whatever the Air Force calls a clean plane." Dick knew the reference to the AF would tick-off Logan, and went to put away Big Bertha—the second best therapist he had after the ocean.

"Nice try at deflection man, but I know when you get into crazy cleaning mode something is bothering you. I know I've been busy with Veronica—" Logan ignored Dick's raised eyebrows and smirk, "but I'm here if you need to talk."

"Yeah, talking and shit is not really something I do." Despite his words, Dick sat down on the couch, and rubbed his eyes.

"Look, I can tell Veronica to call off this thing if you're not feeling it?" Logan knew his friend wouldn't take him up on the offer, but Dick's behavior was freaking Logan out slightly.

"Dude, I am fine. I'm not going to go on a bender or take up any life-threatening hobbies, like say," Dick smirked, "landing big planes on small boats. It's just…," Dick hesitated, "screw it-never mind."

"Man, you cannot leave me hanging like that. Do I need to get Veronica in here for one of her little inquisitions?" Logan joked, but looked at Dick pointedly; hoping Dick would get the message that he wasn't going to leave his friend alone to deal with whatever was screwing with Dick's head. Dick groaned at the mention of Veronica, and Logan laughed at his obvious pain.

"No offense, but I don't know how you do it with that girl. Not 'do it'—I wouldn't kick her out of my bed, but how do you do the whole relationship thing?"

Logan ignored Dick's indelicate description of Veronica's attractiveness, and was surprised at the turn of the conversation. Could Dick's manic cleaning and general tenseness be about a girl?

"It's more like how can we not do it? Veronica and I are like magnets. When we're near each other, we have to be together. It feels wrong if we're not together."

"And all the shit you guys have been through-and I know better than anyone how messed up you were after she left Hearst—you two are worth it?" Dick was looking away from Logan, but turned his head at the end of the question, giving Logan what could only be thought of as a 'searching look'.

'Shit,' Logan thought to himself. Could Dick be dealing with actual 'feelings' for an woman? Is that why he had been moping around the house for the last day or two? Logan was so startled by the revelation that he almost forgot to respond, but shook himself mentally out his shock and chose his next words carefully.

"Dick, I can't tell you if what we have is right for everybody, but being with Veronica is, well it feels right—it's hard to explain, I'm excited by her, but at the same time, I'm at peace with her."

"Dude, exciting peace makes like zero sense. Maybe she just has magical pussy power?"

Logan laughed at Dick's look of confused frustration.

"That must be the real explanation," Logan replied drolly, but knew that explaining his relationship with Veronica probably wasn't what Dick needed, "but that never seemed like something that would happen to you man. You're like a love em' and leave em' kind of guy, right?" Logan prompted, knowing that what Dick really needed was to realize he actually had feelings, and start dealing with them head on.

"Fuck me, I think it has happened." Dick groaned again and leaned his head back against the couch, closing his eyes.

"Do tell, my friend."

"There's just this—crap, I can't believe you got me talk about feelings—this girl I had been seeing, and it was, no big deal, but then it was, or maybe it wasn't-I don't know, and then it was over, and now all I can think about is parts of her I haven't gotten a chance to kiss, or worse, think about things she said to me, and I can't get them out of my head, and that fucking pisses me off."

"Well, well. Dick Casablancas, who is the unlucky lady that has cast this spell over you and made you completely miserable? I must meet this woman and congratulate her." Logan smirked and leaned in towards Dick, rubbing his hands together with glee.

"Dude, you're an asshole. Why am I your friend?"

* * *

Mac was dreading the coming evening. Logan had returned from deployment two days ago and since Veronica had decided that was enough time for the couple to come up for air, tonight was the night of Logan's welcome home thing-sort of a party, but mostly close friends. Really it was an excuse for Veronica to try to inject some normalcy into her relationship with Logan, show her dad that he wasn't the same psychotic jackass Keith remembered from high school. Mac had agreed to go when Veronica had first proposed the idea in a burst of girlfriend-y-ness that had struck the PI in a moment of loneliness and self-pity—that planning ahead for Logan's return could make the missing of him not so hard. Mac hadn't been sure it was the best idea at the time, but she could never say 'no' to Veronica, and preferred going along rather her friend rather than arguing with her about it. Mac had only herself to blame for not speaking up when she could have.

Now here she was, heading to her ex-lover's house. Hah! 'Ex-lover'—that certainly put a bow on whatever it was that had happened between Mac and Dick the last few whirlwind months. A thousand excuses not to come had played out in her mind, but Mac knew that Veronica knew the real reason she wouldn't want to go, and Mac was smart enough to know that avoiding Dick forever was not going to be possible, especially now that Logan was back in town. And while almost a month had passed since that morning she had asked Dick if they could be friends "without benefits", despite her best hopes, life wasn't going back to normal for Mac.

She still had trouble getting to sleep, and Mac found that even when she was awake, she caught herself daydreaming about blue eyes, strong hands, and silly jokes. While Mac dreaded seeing Dick again—worried she would feel awkward or something worse, maybe. Her mind shied away from what feelings he might instill in her that would make her feel worse, and also wondered if maybe not seeing him was part of the problem? The fear of the unknown or something.

It occurred to her on the drive over to the beach house that maybe she needed to rip the bandage off? See Dick with all his warts, so to speak. Maybe she couldn't move on because she was creating this fantasy Dick from her good memories? Once Mac saw him again, especially the drunken-party playboy version of himself that Dick liked to show the world, she'd remember the jerk that had called her Cassidy's "beard", not the guy that had later asked for her forgiveness, or put her to bed was she was drunk, or hugged her when she basically dumped him... 'Ugh, Mackenzie, stop listing all the good things, focus! Dick was no good for you, right? Right.' Mac winced as she realized she was having a two-way conversation herself, and resigned herself to a night full of uncomfortable and awkward moments.

* * *

Thankfully Mac entered the party when it was clearly in full-swing, and she waited by the door to catch Veronica's eye, who was talking to Wallace and his date, Amy, a friend from yoga class that Mac had fixed him up with a few weeks ago. Mac was super happy for them, but couldn't help feeling a little resentfull that all her good friends, Veronica included, looked like they were settling into normal happy relationships.

Logan was talking to Keith, who actually looked like he was enjoying himself. There were a few other people that Mac recognized, including Cliff and his girlfriend, and Norris Clayton, their former classmate, who was one of the few honest deputies for in the county. There were a few other people that must have been friends of Logan's or Dick's since she didn't recognize them. Dick was conspicuously missing, and she wasn't sure if she felt relieved or something else about that.

Veronica finally noticing Mac, came over to her friend with a smile, and hugged her warmly in greeting. "Mackie my favorite super-genius best friend! I almost thought you weren't coming."

"Sorry, V-I had to finish up some freelance work, but I'm here now and ready to party." Mac deadpanned the last, but smiled and avoiding Veronica's eyes, made a show of looking around at the party-goers. "Quite a nice little turn-out you have here."

"Yeah, but I think a few people are leaving soon. Dick is making a bonfire and the hangers-on are going to head down to the beach. You'll stay for a while, right?"

Mac bit her lip, not wanting to disappoint her excited friend, who rarely had chances to relax with her friends and family. "Of course, you know I'm a sucker for a good bonfire, but I will need a little liquid fortification first." Mac smiled at her friend and followed along as Veronica led her to the bar that had been set up in the kitchen, squaring her shoulders and readying herself for the inevitable.

**P.S. Dick's conversation with Logan was partly inspired by a few lines from Damien Rice's Cannonball -**

**Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed**

**…**

**There's still a little bit of your song in my ear**

**There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear**

**You step a little closer to me**

**So close that I can't see what's going on **


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: We're coming near the end (almost), and thanks so much for the support as I finish my first piece of fiction. I love these characters and its been super fun to write my story for them. **

**This chapter gets a little M for some sexy times, so avert your eyes if you're not into that kind of thing!**

**Please note that these characters are not my own-they were created by the delightful Rob Thomas. I only get to borrow them for some fun times.**

"I'm worried that this is a sign that the end is near. How is it that you and I are the most sober people here?" Logan came down the stairs, eyeing Dick, who was staring at the current occupant of the couch—an unconscious Mac, curled up in a ball and gently snoring.

"You tuck in drunky number one and two?" Dick snarked quietly, referring to Veronica and Wallace. Wallace had been encouraged to crash in the guest bedroom, succumbing early to the effects of a fourth round of shots.

Veronica and Mac followed soon after the sixth round, declaring it was the 'best party ever', as they stumbled into the house after leaving their spots at the bonfire. Logan and Dick had assumed that the two were coming back, but after an over-long absence, Logan had found the two best friends curled up next to each other on the couch. He had just carried Veronica up to his second-floor bedroom when he found Dick staring at the sleeping Mac.

"We should never let vegan, health-obsessed, or height-challenged people do rounds of tequila." Logan quipped, referring to the passed-out threesome. "You think we should leave her here to sleep it off?" Logan asked, nodding his head towards Mac's spot on the couch.

Dick rubbed his eyes and sighed. "She probably deserves the couch, but I'll move her to my room. And don't give me that look. Sex with a corpse isn't exactly my thing. I'll take the couch."

"Cool man. Then I'm going to go to bed." Logan watched Dick as he gently arranged Mac's limbs and picked her up, a little startled by how careful Dick was being, but eager to get to bed himself, decided not to analyze the situation too deeply.

As Dick carried Mac down the hall to his room, he wondered for what felt like the millionth time how he had gotten himself into this situation—having something he wanted so badly, so close, but being unable to do anything about it? Dick had lived most of his life doing what he wanted and damning the consequences, and now after a night of staring longingly at Mac, hoping she'd maybe notice him, here she was in his arms, in his bed, and he couldn't do a thing about it. While he wasn't big on life's subtleties, the irony of this situation wasn't lost on him. "Mac what are you doing to me?" Dick took one last look at the woman that had been messing up his life the last few months, sighed again, arranged her in bed and tucked a blanket around her sexy little body—not even copping a feel, okay maybe he copped a little feel as he pulled off her pants—he did miss those legs of hers, and grabbed a pillow and left the room.

Dick settled himself onto the couch and let the night's events run through his mind. He had been looking forward to seeing Mac tonight, and when she had showed up in her ripped old jeans, black tank-top, and smokey eyes, he had actually felt his mouth drop open for a few seconds. She looked so sexy and coolly confident in her gothy-nerd girl way, he just wanted to grab her, but Mac on the other hand, didn't seem to want anything to do with him.

Dick felt like he had spent the entire night after she arrived hoping to try to catch her for a talk—see if he could feel her out for how she was taking their sex separation, but every time it looked like he could get her alone, she ran off to talk to Keith or Wallace or Veronica, or made an excuse to get a drink. He caught her eye a few times, but she kept looking away. It was like she was avoiding him, and he didn't like it—it made him feel like he had done something wrong. And Dick didn't like that feeling—she was the one that had wanted to end things between them, after all. He had always been honest, hadn't he? Dick sighed again, and punched his pillow, trying to get settled into sleep. Not only was he sexually frustrated, but now he was confused.

###

Mac awoke groggily to the weak dawn light, startled at first to find herself in Dick's bed. Rubbing her eyes, she tried to get her mind to work on how she had ended up there, wearing her tank top and panties. She remembered the bonfire, giggling on the couch with Veronica, and then soft hands and the feeling of being carried. Mac grimaced at the thought of Dick carrying her in here, and at her missing pants, "Dick," she muttered to herself. Not that she could really blame him for helping her get more comfortable, especially since he had obviously found somewhere else to crash for the night, leaving her his comfy bed. Mac made her way to the bathroom, needing to attend to some pressing bladder issues, but also hoping to find a spare toothbrush and maybe a glass of water.

After taking care of her imminent problems (she would never drink tequila again—Mac swore to herself), and locating the toothbrush she had left behind last month in Dick's medicine cabinet, Mac stared at herself in the mirror while brushing. As she rewound the night's events, Mac couldn't help admitting that she felt a little guilty. Dick had obviously been trying to talk to her all night, and she responded maturely by running away and getting drunk.

Mac sighed as she finished brushing, knowing the real reason she had avoided him. One look at him last night and she pretty much knew that all her best laid plans to get over her feelings for him had failed—hence the tequila shots. Mac knew that if he had caught her alone, she probably would have thrown herself into his arms. At least she dodged that bullet—she could make her escape and keep her pride intact for the time being.

With that thought, she opened the bathroom door, and let out a little scream. "Dick!" The one person she was hoping to avoid was standing in the middle of the room, naked to the waist down. Of course.

###

There was Mac standing in the bathroom doorway, her eyes darting around the room, trying to look everywhere else but at him. For some reason, her gaze seemed to land at his bare chest as she spoke, "Hi, um, sorry about being…what are you..?" Mac babbled.

Dick felt as confused as she sounded, mangling his words as he spoke, "Mac, sorry…" His eyes were also avoiding hers, and had landed on her bare legs, and unable to look away from her gorgeous thighs as he spoke, his words came out in a jumble, "I didn't see you in bed…and thought you had gone home. I was just going to get changed to go surfing. Uh…I'll go." Dick moved quickly to his dresser, opening a drawer, rummaging around looking for something, while she stood and watched his hurried movements.

"Dick—"

"Yeah, I'll get out of here, I just need my—"

"No, Dick. I don't want you to go."

"Uh, what?" Dick looked up from what he was doing staring stupidly at her, his mission forgotten at Mac's soft words.

Mac walked over to him, and reached for his hand, pulling him away from the dresser, lacing her hands through his, and tugging him towards her body. "I want you to stay," she whispered, looking up shyly from underneath her hair.

"Mac are you—" Dick stopped himself. He wasn't going to risk her not being sure, he thought selfishly. He let go of her hand and reached for her, running his hands from her shoulders up to her neck, tangling his fingers into her short hair, and leaning down to cover Mac's lips with his own, gently at first, but with more pressure as Mac sighed into the kiss, letting him know with her response that she was sure.

"God, I've missed you." Dick pulled away from her momentarily to wrap his arms around her lower back and pull her up against his chest, pulling her off the floor. Mac wrapped her arms around his neck, and wrapped her legs around his hips. Dick groaned at the contact, and leaned in for another kiss, stumbling with them and falling back onto his bed. Taking the weight of the fall, Dick let Mac take the lead, thrilled by the feverish little kisses and nips she was giving his mouth.

Straddling Dick's hips, Mac pulled away from Dick briefly to fling off her shirt. Dick leaned forward to follow her, kissing her and reaching around her back to unhook her bra. Wriggling out of her bra as Dick kissed her, Mac pressed her bare chest to his own, sighing into his mouth as she felt the skin to skin contact.

Not content with the kisses, Dick pressed Mac down onto the bed, turning her body so that he could kiss, lick, and suck on her hardened nipples. Mac gasped at the contact, and reached for Dick's waistband, dragging them down over his hips. Dick leaned away from her to remove his clothing, and wasting no time, latched onto Mac's panties, dragging them quickly over her hips.

No longer able to wait, Dick settled between Mac's legs and as she wrapped them around his hips, Dick thrust into her, groaning as he met her wet, tight, heat. Mac gasped as she was filled by him, biting her lip to hold in her moan at the feeling.

"Are you okay?" He paused for a second; worried he had hurt her in his haste. Mac shook her head no, and reached up to kiss him, as he began to move inside her, quickly at first, but as her kisses gentled him, he slowed down, enjoying Mac's little gasps and sighs as she matched his thrusts with the movement of her hips.

Mac's orgasm shook her body, and as he felt her clenching around him, moaning his name, he captured her mouth in a kiss, and quickened his pace for a few more hard thrusts until he was swept over the edge too, collapsing on top of her, sated. Moving off her gently, Dick pulled her body against his side, threw his arm over her waist, and fell into a deep and contented sleep for the first time in weeks.

###

Mac lay awake next to Dick, and as her breathing subsided, she glanced over at his sleeping body, his head buried in the pillow. She wasn't ready to move yet, but she wasn't tired, and she bit her lip, as she gazed up at the ceiling, knowing that the past blissful moments were going to go on a list of things she would later regret. Mac was struck in that moment, astonished at the intensity of the experience.

While she and Dick had passion, this time had been different. Maybe it was the speed, the lack of foreplay, the sweetness, but intensity of her climax—she knew she should be enjoying the aftermath, but she only felt this deep emptiness and she finally knew why people called it 'heartbreak'. Mac knew she had it bad, but the depth of her feelings were crystal clear in that moment, and she almost gasped in pain. She was in deep, and knowing that this 'fling' had turned into something vastly more complex was tearing her up.

Holding her breath, Mac slid out from under Dick's arm, offering a silent prayer to the Goddess that he would stay asleep. As quickly as possible, Mac found her clothes and pulled them on, glancing over at Dick whenever he moved, but thankfully the sex and maybe the night on the couch had finally overcome his penchant for early mornings, and he slept on. Quietly exiting the room, Mac left the house for the safety of her car.

Sliding into her front seat, Mac laid her head on the steering wheel, finally allowing the tears out and muttering, "fuck, fuck, fuck," under her breath. She was in fucking love with Dick, big-time, undying love, and her logical brain screamed at her because she seriously did not know what she was going to do about it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: We've pretty much come to the end of this story arc - and thanks so much for the supportive reviews! I've learned so much from this experience and found new sources of inspiration. It's been such a pleasure to write about these characters that I may have an epilogue in store to! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy.**

**Please note: I do not own these characters. The were created by and belong to Rob Thomas &amp; Co. Thanks for letting me borrow them!**

"Yo Ronnie, you seen Mac?" Dick walked towards Veronica, who was ensconced on the couch, nursing a cup of coffee and a mean hangover.

"Ugh, Dick, you really don't need to yell." Veronica winced at Dick. "And no, she's not here. I'm assuming she left last night."

"Uh, well. I guess she must have…" Dick looked away from Veronica, but not before she caught the guilty look on his face.

"Diiiick?" Veronica elongated the name into a question. "Why did you think Mac would still be here?"

"No reason, shortie. You want me to make you something for breakfast?" Dick made a show of getting busy in the kitchen, but Veronica knew all the classic signs of avoidance, and there was no way she was going to let his little slip-up slide under her radar.

"So should I call Mac and ask her where she slept last night?" Veronica caught the look of horror on Dick's face, and her suspicions were confirmed. "Dick, sit. Talk to 'Mama Mars'." Veronica patted the couch next to her, watching intently as Dick sighed and flopped down on the couch next to her.

"First of all, I didn't sleep with her last night—not at first at least," he mumbled, "if that was what you were thinking. Mac was passed out and I moved her to my room and took the couch, but…" Dick hesitated.

"But?" Veronica eyed Dick over coffee, eyebrows raised, enjoying his nervousness.

"But I woke up early to go surfing and went in my room to grab my stuff, and she was up, and we, uh, and then, you know, and then when I woke up she was gone. Fuck!" Dick groaned at Veronica's scowl.

"What? She jumped me! I was being a good boy, and then when she got what she wanted—" Dick paused at Veronica's gag, "she just left without a word. I'm the one that should be pissed. She like used me for my body or something." Dick flopped his head back against the couch and threw his arm over his eyes.

"Dick you should be thrilled."

"What do you mean Ronnie?" Dick leaned forward and looked at Veronica, a confused look on his face.

"I'll explain and I'll use really small words so you can understand. I thought that was what you wanted—no commitment, no emotion, just a little…whatever it is you do…," she grimaced. "Seems to me that you should be pretty happy waking up alone." Veronica leaned back, and took a sip of her, looking pointedly at Dick as a look of denial crossed his face.

"That's not what I want from Mac."

"Oh, really? Do tell."

"Damn, Ronnie. What do you want me to say that I'm like completely pussy-whipped? I think about her all the time? That the few weeks we were together were the most fun I've ever had with a girl? That I think I fucking love her? Does that make you happy? Shit, I sound like such a bitch". Dick groaned and ran his hands through his hair. "And now she won't even look at me. She couldn't even stand to stay with me this morning. Clearly outside the sheets, I disgust her."

Dick actually looked a little hurt, and Veronica decided to take pity on him, and maybe help her unhappy best friend as well. These two idiot kids would be making she and Logan miserable for the next 10 years or so if someone didn't give them a little nudge in the right direction. "Look Dick," Veronica put her coffee down and turned to look at him, "Mac doesn't just tumble into the sack lightly." Dick scoffed and started to interrupt. "No, it's the truth, and what may have seemed like no big deal to you—is a big deal to her. Mac isn't one of your usual bimbos."

"I know she's not, but she seemed cool..."

"Did she Dick? I mean let's wind back the clock. She pretty much dumped your ass when you told me that you only viewed her as a 'friend with benefits'"

"But she didn't tell me then that she wanted to get serious. Am I supposed to read her mind or something?"

"Yes, actually, you are. That's why Logan and I have such a great relationship." Dick scowled at her and rolled his eyes. "Okay, so listen carefully, blondie—I'm not going to repeat myself or try to fix whatever it is going down between you, against probably my better judgment, again. Mac has been miserable these last few weeks. Something has been messing with her head, and my guess is that is you. So why don't you man up and find out for yourself why she didn't want to face you this morning."

"That's great, and have her tell me she thinks I'm an idiot? No can do, Kemosabe."

Veronica gave him a look of disdain. "All I'm saying is, if you really have feelings for Mac, then you should tell her. Lay your cards on the table. If she doesn't want you—or if she only wants you for sex—gross," Veronica's lip curled, "—then you'll know, but it sounds like you're too much of pussy to find out." Veronica leaned back into the couch and sipped her coffee, and watched Dick's face as he processed the challenge in her words.

"Are you saying I'm a pussy?" Dick quickly stood up from the couch, and glared down at Veronica angrily."

"Maybe? What are you going to do about it, surfer boy?"

Dick ran his hand through his hair, indecision written on his face. He looked away from Veronica angrily, but then the confident mask that Veronica was most familiar with settled back onto Dick's face. "Fuck this shit. If Mac wants to treat me like her cheap date, then I'm going to find out why. Women don't run out on Casablancas men. We do the kicking to the curb, not the other way around!

Veronica just rolled her eyes at his show of bravado. "Perfect Dick—you tell her that. I'm sure that will go over well."

"Okay, maybe I won't lead with that." Dick flopped back down on the couch next to Veronica, back to his defeated posture, and sat, staring into space for a minute. "Ronnie, do I have any chance with her?"

"Maybe a teenie-tiny chance." Veronica wrinkled her nose and touched her index finger to the tip of her thumb, making the universal sign for 'tiny' with her hand.

Dick sighed, letting out the breath he was holding at her answer. "I am completely fucked. Screw it. Knowing she hates me for sure can't be worse than how I feel now."

"That's the kind of 'can do' attitude I like to see, Dick." Veronica patted Dick's knee in mock sympathy.

###

Mac had gotten enough of a hold on her emotions to drive herself home, and once back in her little rental, she had enough energy for breakfast and a long shower before crashing into her bed, her physical and mental weariness finally overcoming her. Thankfully her sleep was dreamless and she woke up as the last rays of the sun peeked through her window, feeling restored.

Despite her natural introversion, Mac had never viewed herself as particularly introspective—she didn't like to dwell on emotions, preferring to move forward to the next problem to solve. She knew that obsessing over what she couldn't change was pointless, and preferred living in the moment, and she figured that was what probably drew her to Dick—he seemed to make living in the moment an art form, and she found that deeply attractive, despite his flaws.

So she had a slight set-back at last night's party? Mac had come to the conclusion that her mistake these last few weeks was throwing herself into her work and avoiding Dick, which only made the situation worse. Mac decided then she would be better off doing what people normally do when they were getting over a break-up, which was officially what she calling what had happened between her and Dick. Even if he only viewed her as a convenient bed-buddy, she knew now she never felt that way. Pretending the whole thing was a silly fling hadn't helped her move on, so now she was going to accept that she had feelings, let herself grieve, and then move on.

'That's the ticket, Mac! No use fighting the truth. It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all and yada, yada, yada…' Mac's inner dialogue was interrupted by a knock on the door, and as she headed to answer it, she wondered who could possibly want to bother her at six o'clock on a Saturday night. Upon seeing the last person she expected, looking insanely gorgeous as usual, Mac almost slammed the door closed again.

"Dick!" Mac stared dumbly at the object of her most recent thoughts.

"Hey Mac, aren't you going to invite me in?" Dick looked a little angry, which was another surprise to Mac, since she had left him in a pretty happy state this morning.

"Ah sure, I guess." Mac leaned out of the way to let him in, too surprised to come up with a better answer. Turning back around after closing the door, and following Dick into the middle of the apartment, Mac tried to gather her thoughts, coming to the conclusion that Dick was probably thinking last night had restarted the 'friends with benefits' phase of their relationship.

"Look Dick, if you're looking for a repeat of last night, I think that was a one-time deal. Chalk it up to tequila and how irresistible you look by firelight." Mac joked awkwardly, but she was startled by the raw expression of pain she saw on Dick's face when she finally glanced up at him. That look practically took her breath away.

"No Mac, I didn't come here for a repeat, I came here to find something out, and I guess I just got my answer." Dick gave Mac a hard look and headed past her for the door.

"Wait Dick. Don't go." Mac practically ran to the door, flinging herself in front of Dick and slamming her back into the door, blocking his escape. "What? I mean, what did you come here to find out?"

"It's not important anymore, Macster. I'll see you around." Dick tried to reach around Mac for the door, but she blocked the handle with her body.

"Why don't you let me decide that," she said softly. Mac hated the pleading note she heard in her voice, but for some reason, she felt like she had to see this through, had to know why he had looked at her with those big sad eyes a moment ago.

Dick backed up a few feet from her and crossed his arms, silent for a few seconds as the cocky mask he wore slid back in place. "Okay, Mac why did you slink out of bed this morning like I had given you herpes or something?"

"Why did I…? Slink like...? Because I..." Mac hesitated and stopped herself, afraid of what she almost said, and shook her head. "You don't want to know Dick—it will ruin our little friendship." Mac grimaced and looked away from him.

"Why would it 'ruin' our friendship? From what I know, friends don't ditch friends—friends are honest right? That's what people say, and you always claimed you told it like it was. So if we're going to be friends, then you should tell me the truth." Dick glared at Mac again, and stuck his hands in his pockets, letting her know with his body language that he wasn't going to leave without an answer.

Mac was a little angry now at how he was using her natural forthrightness against her, and let out a frustrated sigh, and shook her head at him in exasperation. "That's the thing Dick. I don't want to be friends with you. I never wanted to be friends with you, and that's not what I want now." Dick's eyes widened at her words, and Mac bit her lip, regretting them almost immediately.

"Got it Mac. Wow. You and Ronnie must have taken lessons on how to rip a guy's nuts off and stomp on them." Dick tried to make another grab for the door, but Mac stopped him, putting her hands on his chest and looking up at him.

"Dick, stop, I'm sorry. Please, let me finish." Mac looked up at him pleadingly, "I had to leave because I...,"Mac bit her lip again, hesitating, and looked down at her hands on his chest, before inhaling and letting out a deep breath. "I love you, okay," she looked up into his shocked face before looking away again. "I love your big stupid face, and your dumb sad eyes, and I want to have little surfer babies with you and I freaked out, okay? Happy now?" Mac turned around to face the door and grabbed the handle, expecting he would want to get out quickly. "You really dodged a bullet this morning—if you had woken up first and given me your dopey grin, you probably would have had me declaring my undying love for you right there. I really saved you a lot of trouble. No awkward excuses to find a way to get me out of there."

"Did you just say that I have a big stupid face?" Mac turned her head to look back at him, shocked to see that big dopey grin. The jerk was positively beaming.

"Maybe. Among other things." Mac turned her body slightly, but kept her arms crossed and glared at his smile.

"Undying, huh?" Dick leaned back on his heels, still smiling stupidly.

"Okay, maybe I exaggerated that part. You can go now." But Dick wasn't paying any attention, closing the space between them, and before she could say anything else he leaned in and kissed her under her jaw, a little feathery kiss, that made Mac shiver.

"What if I stayed over tonight, and you tested out your theory on me tomorrow morning?" Dick's voice rumbled near her ear, as he wrapped his arms around her, but he leaned back to look at her for an answer.

"I might need a little convincing first." Mac smiled up at him, looking into his clear eyes, and what she saw there took her breath away before he leaned in for another gentle, and almost hesitant kiss.

"What if I told you that if you said that to me this morning, I would have told you not to go?" Dick kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth. "That maybe I would have told you to stay as long as you want?" He kissed her chin, then her cheek, then the other corner of her mouth. Mac sighed into him, hugging him around the waist tightly. "That maybe I loved you too?" Dick whispered the last, and brought his lips back to her own for a less gentle, but still sweet kiss. Mac leaned into the kiss, letting it deepen before she pulled away to look at him.

"Really?"

"God, yes, really. I've been going crazy these last few weeks. And then when you left before we could talk this morning...don't do that again, okay?" Dick leaned his head down on Mac's, and wiped the tears that were sliding down Mac's cheeks.

"Hmm. Maybe you've convinced me. Should we go test the theory?" Mac leaned her head onto Dick's chest, and listened to his heart beating, and for the first time in weeks, or maybe months (okay, maybe years), felt she was right where she belonged.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews and the follows! I hope you enjoy this short little epilogue to tie up the story.**

**Thanks to Rob Thomas for creating this characters (that I don't own) and making it possible for me to write about them!**

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**\- Epilogue - **

As the setting sun was giving another one of its amazing early evening shows over the Pacific, Mac had to shield her eyes from the rays that were hitting her straight on as she opened the door and walked into the empty beach house. Putting her lap-top bag down in the entrance, she was greeted by the Dick's orange tabby that had trotted up to her ankles and was rubbing its body along her legs. "I guess I'm going to be a cat lady after all." Mac said ruefully to herself as she reached down to scratch the cat behind its ears.

Mac looked around at the now familiar house, taking in the tastefully furnished open living area and cozy kitchen, and wondered where Dick was. He had promised to help her finish moving her stuff back into the beach house, but was conveniently missing during her first loaded car ride back from her sublet. "Why is it that no one is ever around on moving day?" Mac grumbled to herself.

It had taken three more months, and a not too subtle campaign on Dick's part to convince Mac to move back in, but she had finally agreed when Veronica had not too casually pointed out that paying for the apartment was stupid considering the fact that Mac never spent any time there, plus she was 'getting sick' of Dick complaining about Mac leaving him alone when she did have a reason to go back to the sublet. "If I have to listen to Dick wax poetic about you for another minute, I'm going to puke. The dude is seriously wrecked," were Veronica's exact words.

If she was honest with herself, in her lust-addled soul, Mac had wanted to move in from almost the moment that she and Dick had their little heart-to-heart three months ago—she was crazy about the guy, but Mac's logical brain won out, and she had opted to slow the relationship down a bit, trying to give them space to breathe and grow accustomed to their fledgling romance. Going from bachelorhood to his first serious monogamous 'relationship' had to be a big transition she figured, and Mac wanted to give him time to adjust—didn't want to crowd him.

Smiling at the thought, Mac shook her head at the memory of her hesitation, knowing now it had been unwarranted. Dick still loved to torture her with bad puns or the badly timed, "that's what she said," jokes, but he also loved to wake up before she did and make her breakfast- 'Can't let only breadwinner in the family go to work on an empty stomach,' he would joke, or grumble at her to go to bed when she was up late working on some case for Veronica. He always made sure he had her favorite almond milk on hand, and had decided he was going to perfect the recipe for vegan pancakes. Dick was even nicer to Veronica, who had spent a lot of time with them before finding her own place in between Logan's most recent deployment. He had made friends with Wallace too, turning into the Neptune High JV Basketball unofficial mascot and cheer squad.

It turned out that when Dick was in, he was all in, and even now Mac had moments where she had to check herself because this Dick, the sweet, attentive, kind of Martha-Stewart like boyfriend, that Dick had turned out to be, was still a bit of a shock to her system.

While he wasn't into big gestures, Dick seemed to go out his way in lots of little ways to show Mac how much he liked taking care of her, and Mac had to admit, she kind of liked the fussing, which was why she was a little surprised that he wasn't around now to help her with her final moving chores. As a gust of cool wind blew off the ocean, Mac noticed the lanai door swing gently open. Heading over to the door, Mac stepped outside, taking in the setting sun and the approaching twilight. Noticing the blond head and the broad shoulders of her erstwhile boyfriend, Mac kicked off her shoes, and headed over to her beach boy, who was standing with his back to the house, looking towards the ocean.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mac wrapped her arm around Dick's waist, and looked up at his face. Dick reached his own arm around Mac's shoulders in return and glanced down at her, giving her his easy smile and a warm glance that was still able to melt her insides.

"My thoughts are worth at least a nickel." Dick glanced away from Mac and back to the ocean. "Just enjoying my last moments of life as a single guy." Mac rolled her eyes, but accepted the gentle kiss Dick landed on her hairline.

"I hear the all the single ladies in Neptune are quite upset at that news," Mac quipped sarcastically, but pinched his side.

"That must explain the screams of misery I've been hearing all day." Dick glanced down at Mac, and squeezed her, but turned around and wrapped both his arms around her waist, lacing his hands behind her back and stared down at her with a serious expression on his face. Mac raised her eyebrows at him, expecting another joke.

"Mac…?" Dick hesitated.

"Yeah, Dick?" Mac waited for the next zinger, but was surprised by his next words.

"I'm glad you're here. I…I hope you stay for good this time." Taken off guard by the serious words of her usually emotionally reserved boyfriend, Mac looked up at Dick's bright eyes, and smiled at the emotion she saw there.

Mac leaned into Dick's embrace, resting her head against his chest, and tightened her arms around his body. She wasn't letting go. "I'm not going anywhere, Dick. I'm home now."


End file.
